Friday, January 25, 2013

Sarah's Sexy Time Talk

I am off doing actual work...
Just kidding it's Friday people...
but when Sassy Sarah came to me with the idea of guest posting on my blog I couldn't turn her down.
Hello she wanted to talk about sexy time and I am all about that shit.
You know around here we don't hold back!
So without further adieu meet Sassy Sarah:
Hello to everyone in Marcy Blogland! This beautiful lady is turning over the reins of her blog to me for today! MuuuuWhaaahahha!


First, a little about me:
I live in East Tennessee with my husband and our two dogs. I am a Social Worker and I have 4 years of experience with sexuality education. I am extremely passionate about sex ed. As you can imagine, the attitude in East Tennessee is less than enthusiastic regarding the topic of sex. As a matter of fact, they have pretty much banned comprehensive sex ed from our schools. I know, ridiculous right?


My personal blog, Fueled and Aflame, is mostly about my weight loss journey. So, I wanted to switch it up a bit over here and write about my sex passion!!
Today I am going to write on the topic of improving your sex life! First, I want to address a little road bump that people throw at me CONSTANTLY. “You are a Christian… how can you make your living by teaching people about sex and talking about improving sex lives?” If I had a dime for every time someone throws a comment like that at me I would be rich. Newsflash people: sex is in the Bible. As a matter of fact, there is an extremely sexy scene in Song of Solomon.  It is Steam City up in that book. Now that I have that out of the way, I shall continue.


I think that the most important aspect of a sexual relationship is communication. It saddens me that our society has transformed sex into such a taboo and embarrassing topic to discuss. I mean, if you were having heart problems you would probably talk to your partner about that. So why can’t you talk about sex issues? I know some couples that have absolutely never ever discussed their sex life with each other. In order for sex to be fun and spicy you HAVE to talk to each other. You need to know each other’s likes, dislikes, fantasies, and boundaries.


Another of my pet peeves is that society views sex as being strictly for men. Many women are unhappy with their sex lives and are not being sexually fulfilled. Their husbands/boyfriends are usually completely clueless and think that their woman is satisfied. My mission is to empower women to SPEAK UP!


So, if you are in a sexual rut here are my tips on spicing things up:


1.      Role Play: I cannot stress this one enough. Have any of you seen the movie Four Christmases? In the very first scene of the movie Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon act out an intense role play in a bar and then go get their freak on in the bathroom. THAT is what I am talking about. It doesn’t have to be anything kinky. It could simply be that you are strangers meeting for the first time for a one-night stand. Make it fun!


2.      Start a “Sex Calendar”: On this calendar, keep track of the days you have sex as well as if YOU had an orgasm. Did you know that 70% of women CAN NOT have an orgasm from strictly having intercourse? Keeping track of it will allow you and your partner to make sure that BOTH of your needs are being met. One of the biggest problems I see with couples is that the woman is not having her needs met and her husband has no idea. Hence, the importance of communication. At the end of the month, sit down and review the calendar together. Discuss ways you can find more time for intimacy. Discuss if you are BOTH happy with the frequency of sex/orgasm. Also, come up with a “code” for the calendar. For example, circle the days you have sex and “X” the days you have an orgasm. That way if your kid finds your calendar it doesn’t say “sex” and “orgasm” all over it…


3.      Adult Movies: This topic is very controversial. Adult movies are not everyone’s cup of tea. I am not advocating that everyone should go out and stock their house with porn. However, it can be a very useful tool for couples. A lot of women find that they really like it. You can find some very tasteful women-friendly films. Watching adult films together can help loosen your inhibitions and give you ideas for new things to try. Men: my biggest advice on this topic is to let your woman pick it out. It’s also probably a good idea to let her bring it up. So women, if you have ever thought about trying this out in the bedroom then talk about it! Chances are you will get a positive reaction. A word of caution: porn CAN become addictive. I advocate that couples watch it TOGETHER. It is easy to allow porn to create a wedge in your relationship so keep open communication with each other. Where to start:

Me with Jesse Jane...
and if you couldn't have already guessed it YES, she is a porn star!


4.      TOYS!Sex toys can be a fun addition to the bedroom. Again, both partners need to be in agreement on this. My advice would be to go to a sex store together and look around.


5.      Sexting:This is a great way to build up sexual tension throughout the day. You can send racy photos and text messages to each other. Be careful with this though. It is easy to send the texts/pictures to the wrong person (e.g. sending a boob shot to your mother-in-law). It is also a good idea to erase them relatively quickly if you know kids will have access to your phone.

Depending on the response I get I may do more posts along these lines over on my blog (I really want to do a post on talking to your kids about sex). Comment if there is any topic you would like to see addressed! Also, hit me up if you have any questions or concerns! I will help any way I can. Now go get your freak on!!
My new favorite web series: The Most Popular Girls In School

Is she not totes fucking awesome.

PS Hopefully Husby and I will get our sexy time in this weekend...


  1. DANGGGGGGGG This will make ya eyes pop in the morning! Lurve it!

  2. love it!!! following your blog asap!!

  3. Nice! I so need to make my hubs read this post!

  4. Girl, this post is the her! She is speaking the truth,people get all up tight about sex, like she said it sure is in the the Bible and lots of it!

  5. I could seriously write a book in response to this post. I think I could write a whole book in response to your "Christian" friends. Okay, so I am one of those, but I don't tell people all that much because I know they will think I am like those other kind of Christians. You rock, girl. Keep helping people get better at making each other happy.

  6. I would love this post...I mean I do love this post...but you know...stupd guys like to be stupid...sigh!

  7. Great post - I would like to hear your ideas on talking to your kids about it ... My boys are still very young but the Hubs and I have different ideas on how we are going to approach it, so I would really like to hear your point of view.

  8. Sarah, GREAT POST!!!! Also, speaking of talking to your kids about sex. My ex WILL NOT talk to our 12 year old son. I know that it should have been done years ago, so please don't scold Against my better judgement, I am going to take matters into my own hands. Can you give me any advice on how to best broach the subject so that he won't completely tune me out. I am desperate!!!! Thank you!

  9. woo hoo! This post is awsome! Need to run home now to hubby!! LOL!!

    1. Great Post chica! I love the toys and movies! For me a bunch of alcohol really helps too! When I have a few drinks I have the tendency to be a little more FREAKY in the bedroom if you know what I mean... lol...

  10. omg i love this post hahaha! new follower and def taking some of these tips!

  11. Love this post and I love Sarah!!!! Those Barbie gifs made me LOL :)

  12. yes yes yes! we need a blog about telling kids about sex!!!

  13. Great post. Something that is okay to talk about even though society says differently.