Wednesday, July 8, 2015

My neck, my back...

So day three of my new routine isn't really starting out on the best foot...


You know that song, oh shoot how does it go?
"My Neck, my back
I have poison ivy on my vajayjay and my crack..."


Oh wait that's not how it goes?
Well today that is exactly how it goes!

It's like I stripped down to my birthday suit and rolled in it, poison ivy that is.
If I wouldn't lose my job I swear I would take all my clothes off and rub myself all over the carpet at work right now.

So #prednisonepolly is back in the house.
The last time I was on this stuff I gained 10 pounds in a week.
prepping for thanksgivingprepping for thanksgiving
Let's all just say a silent prayer to 3 lb 5 oz premature bebe Jebus that I don't get the munches like normal.

To top everything off exercising that involves sweating right now is out until I can get it under control.
Sweat = itching = scratching

In the meantime I am doing my best to drink tons of water, stay on point with my calories, and not scratch myself to death...



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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Repeat.

It's like a song stuck on repeat
You know THAT song.
The one song you fall in love with and then listen to it so much you make yourself sick from it.
My weight is a lot like THAT song and the situation I keep finding myself in.
Granted I don't love my weight at the moment.
Although I have dreams of one day being in that place.
That place of repeat where my weight is in a good place and stays there.
It's no secret at all that I have struggled.
I never hide that from anybody or anything.
I started Skinny Meg's summer challenge yesterday.
I did it because for the first time in a LONG time my head AND heart are both in it.
I am ready to change my life.
I pray for the last time but I am no longer making any promises.
Those honestly get me know where.
Baby steps.

I am praying in three months that I can look back on the following picture and not even recognize the person I see...
Honestly I don't even recognize her right now.
Surely that's not me right?
Yes, unfortunately it is.

Months of not listening to my body.
Months of emotional eating.
Months of constantly beating myself up and feeling sorry for myself.

NO MORE.

So you ask what is my plan to become a new and healthier version of myself?

~Stay positive is the most important thing to me.
~Drink TONS of water.
~Use MyFitnessPal to log ALL of my food ALL of the time.
~Get to the gym 3 to 5 days a week but remain active at all times.
~Try my hardest to stay away from night time snacking and week day drinking.

Honestly it's that simple yet seems to be so hard to do at times.

I will be trying my hardest to check in more often because I have sure missed this =)

PS my fav song on repeat right now is...





Happy Tuesday y'all!
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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

4 years

Once upon a time, a girl met a boy. She gave him her hand and he held it tight. Together, they set off down the unknown path in front of them. Sometimes they walked slowly; sometimes at a quicker pace. Sometimes they ran so fast it felt kind of like flying. Whenever he lost his footing, she steadied him and whenever she tripped, he helped her back up. Whenever she grew weary, he’d carry her. Sometimes they didn't know which direction to go, but though they would occasionally lose their way, they never lost each other. They wandered contentedly and lived happily, forever and always side by side.

Cheers to 4 years down and many more to go!
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Thursday, April 9, 2015

Maxi Skirt Shuffle

If there is one thing I can't stand it's when you wear a piece of clothing that rides up.
You know what I am talking about...
I am currently doing what I like to refer to as the Maxi Skirt Shuffle...
I sit down and it wants to ride up past my boobs.
I walk same thing happens...
I pull it down and then it looks like I have a rubber band suffocating my spare tire.
I pull it down and then when I go to walk it rides back up looking like I am waiting for a flood to happen at any given moment.
Anybody else?
Just me?

Any ways, I will get over it.

I saw this quite earlier today and it just really resonated with me and my life as of lately.
This is so unbelievably true.
To be happy with yourself.
To discover all the wonderful things about yourself and be confident to know how awesome they are.
How awesome YOU are.
It's a hard place to get to.
Especially with the struggles we all face.
But it is possible and I am still discovering and finding my way.
Honestly does that journey ever really end?
I don't think so.
There are always new discoveries to be had.

I just challenge you today to look deep down inside yourself and find at least a couple positive discoveries about yourself.
Be happy about them.
Truly happy.

Fitness motivation: exercise inspiration. inspirational workout quotes
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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

A day in the life of me right now...


I cry alone in the dark of the early mornings.
When I am physically so tired that I can barely get out of bed, yet my body yearns to get up and get moving.
My heart wants to be in the gym, but the thought of moving physically hurts every part of my body.
I can't remember something you said to me just two seconds prior.
Why can't I remember?
Can you repeat it?
I still cannot grasp what you said, or what you are trying to tell me.
You get aggravated with me.
I get aggravated with you.
I scream out.
I silence myself.
I gain five pounds in a day.
My face looks like I am trying to impersonate the Michelin Tire Man.
I snap at friends and don't even realize it.
I, somebody who once could win a "Perky Polly" award, is now only known for being the biggest "Negative Nancy" this side of the Mississippi.
I am bloated.
My skin is ashy and I just lathered lotion on myself 10 minutes ago.
Why am I crying again?
Do I even know why I am upset right now?
What did you say again?
I just want to go to bed.
When I am in bed I lay there awake.
My stomach hurts.
I have heartburn to the point I have to sit upright in bed for fear that I may hurl fire all over myself, the bed, and my poor Husband sleeping peacefully next to me.
Oh my poor Husband...
I want him to touch me, to love me, to cuddle me and tell me I am pretty.
When he tries I cringe.
It almost physically hurts to be touched.
I love him but have no desires swirling in my head right now.
All I can think about is how huge I am.
Don't touch me there!  It's just fat!  Disgusting!  Why do you even want to touch me?

You guys the above has been my life everyday for the past several weeks.
I am going next week to a doctor that specializes in thyroid issues specifically.
I am just praying that she can help.

Today is day two of trying my hardest to be as gluten free as possible.
No bread and NO pasta.
Le sigh...
I am only testing this out to see if this personally helps me with my issues.
What works for me may not work for the next person.
Thanks for sticking around on this crazy ass ride of mine!

I received this comment via IG this morning and if this girl only understood what a fire she put under my butt...
All it takes is one simple comment to realize that I can do this.
I still have this.
I have struggles but I will conquer them.
I will not lay down and die and let this disease take over my life.

If you are struggling with this, or something similar, just know you are not alone...
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Tuesday, April 7, 2015

30 days.

I never realized what an emotional tie I had to food until this past weekend.
I mean don't get me wrong I knew I loved it.
I just didn't realize exactly how much.
Tell a girl no bread and no pasta is what's best for her and see what happens.
I literally think I could shed tears.
This was what I looked like when the doctor explained how bad bread was for me:
Okay that's a lie but it's what I looked like on the inside...

However, I know this is for the best.
I know that for a healthier and happier Marcy this is what needs to be done, at least for the time being.
My thyroid is extremely cranky at the moment and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy again.
So today it starts.
I mean lez be honest yesterday was Reds Opening Day and there was no way I could succumb to this under those circumstances.
$5.00 Michy Ultra tall boys for the win!

Anyways...
All I ask is for prayers for at least the next 30 days.
30 days of no bread of any kind, no pasta unless it's the veggie kind that everybody keeps telling me about that I have yet to try, none of my beloved Michy Ultra...
Actually my Husband may need more prayers than me.

Jokes aside I am really excited to see where I am 30 days from now.
I am praying this is at least part of the puzzle to get me on a healthier track.
To get my thyroid to where she needs to be.


30 days.
It's just 30 days.
Anybody can do anything for 30 days right?

Any of you out there tried this?
What were your results?

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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Just be you...

Maybe you have seen this, maybe you haven't, but it spoke mountains to me today and what I have been going through lately...


I need to quit comparing myself to everybody else.
Crazy that it took a sweet 17 year old to convince me of that.

{Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart}
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Monday, March 16, 2015

Mondays should be optional.













In no specific order I think it's safe to say a couple of things...
1.  I had a wonderful weekend.
2.  I look better without hair at this point.
3.  I really need to focus on eating better and getting more time at the gym...
WOOF!

Hope y'all have a fabulous Monday :)
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Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Thyroid Shmyroid.


It was several weeks after I had Shelby back in circa 2006.
I remember being severely overweight and unhappy with myself.
I specifically remember a beautiful fall day.
I pulled up to a stop light and the next thing I know I had tapped the car in front of me.
I fell asleep at the wheel.
I literally just couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Talk about scary!
Finally after several doctors appointments later, and even a biopsy to check a lump on my throat, it was determined that I had hypothyroidism.
At a young 21 years old I didn’t really know what that was, or what exactly it entailed, but all I knew was I was extremely tired and had to take a pill every day for the rest of my life.
Your thyroid affects SO much.
Weight loss, fatigue, low sex drive, irritable…  that is just to name a few things that I deal with on a daily basis.
Remind you I was 152 a year ago today.
I now stand at 193.4… 
Yes, that is a HUGE difference.
I also received my blood work back from my doctor this morning.
Your normal levels can range anywhere from 0.270 - 4.200 mcIU/mL and mine was a 6.600 as of yesterday.
Something is obviously not right. 
I go back to my family doctor on the 23rd and I have an appointment with a thyroid specialist (endocrinologist) in April.
I just pray that hopefully soon I can get some answers and some help dealing with this.
It has definitely affected my weight which I so badly want to change.
If you have thyroid issues you are NOT alone.
 
All in all though I am a fighter and I refuse to give up.
I am still trying to eat as healthy as possible and go to the gym as much as I can.

The hardest part is keeping food out of my mouth right now.
 Hahaha surrrre... If you have pills that help... Stop making excuses for being fat. Try eating a carrot and going on a walk.
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Thursday, March 5, 2015

Everyday I'm Shovellin'

If you are looking for me I will most likely be under a blanket in my bed...
#dead

Husband calls and says, "Can you shovel a small spot at the end of the driveway for me?"  Sure, I grumbled, as I huffed and puffed to my room to change my clothes.  I literally was cursing the entire trek down to the beginning of the driveway.  I started and thought, "Hey, this isn't so bad!"  I guess I will be nice and shovel a little more than he told me to.  His back has been hurting him after all...  90 minutes later and the 13 inches of snow (three foot drifts and all) and the driveway was shovelled.  Who needs a gym today when you have a driveway like mine?!  I am already sore, can't wait for tomorrow!  Now if I can just refrain from eating all the foods today that would be great!

Moral of the story:  I am a bad ass.  I must REALLY love my Husband.  The end.
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Monday, March 2, 2015

Discipline.

I may get up in the mornings and think of every excuse in the book to not go to the gym.
This morning it would have been that the last hour I could have been sleeping I was being poked and prodded by a certain two year old.
I won’t mention any names but she is pretty damn cute, just not at 5 in the morning.
Anywho…
Even with all of that being said, there is one thing I know, I have NEVER left the gym regretting it.
I have never thought to myself, “Man, I wish I would have just slept in!”
Most of the times I am kicking myself in the butt for not having got up earlier…
I hope y’all had an AMAZING weekend, I know I did, and have an even better Monday J


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