Monday, December 30, 2013

27 days...

27 days.
That is the amount of days I had managed to track via myfitnesspal before royally screwing it up over the weekend.
I feel like I am in a serious #fatgirlfrump lately.
I don't want to get out of bed in the morning.
Snacking all day long.
Eating larger meals.
Not drinking enough water.
Haven't worked out in a week.
I said I wouldn't do that this year and I did.
But if there is one thing I am good at it's picking myself back up, even if I am feeling heavier, and putting myself right back on the saddle.
Today is a new day.
Clean eatin', water drinkin', clean food trackn', workin out my rear awesomely amazing day!

In other news my dog was up all night on a chocolate high from getting in to the candy tin I forgot to close when reaching in it for the eleventeenth hundred time last night.
Oh and my kid is cuter than yours...
Just kidding...
Kind of.

PS I got to hang out with this sexy biznatch over the weekend which was much needed!

So what's everybody's plans for New Years?
Was I the only one who did piss poor over the holidays?

Friday, December 27, 2013

This year.

Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  Write a good one.

A bad habit I'm going to break:
Late night snacking in front of the idiot box.
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
Watching the Biggest Loser with your spoon in the Ben & Jerry's just doesn't quite go together...

A new skill I'd like to learn:
If you know me at all you know this is not my specialty.
But I would like to learn and try new recipes.

A person I hope to be more like:
My Husband.
Always smiling.
98% of the time he is positive.

A good deed I'm going to do:
Pay for some body's meal behind me in line, or something to that affect.
I have always wanted to do that but just never have.

A place I'd like to visit:
I haven't made it there since his service but my Papaw's grave.
He is buried in the local Veteran's Cemetery so for their service you don't go to their grave site.
I have been putting it off but it truly is a beautiful place.

A book I'd like to read:
I have no time.
Book of Opportunity New Years Quote

A letter I'm going to write:
A letter to my brother while he is still in treatment.
Could still use your prayers.

A new food I'd like to try:
I would like to try out a Greek restaurant.
Greek food in general.
Never had it.

I'm going to do better at:
Spending more time with my children and less time worrying about how messy my house is.
Life is Messy custom hand painted sign by thewordnerdstudio, $40.00

And in regards to my health I really want to get to the top of my healthy BMI weight of 141, run my first half marathon, and just be happier with myself.
What about y'all?

PS...  Nailed it no?

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas and a little #transformationtuesday

Merry Christmas!
I hope y'all have an amazing holiday filled with family, lots of goodies, everything your heart desires placed under your Christmas tree, and if you are like me-some booze to go along with it all ;)
This year will be harder than most.
It's the first year since my Papaw will have been gone.
I know he would want us to all smile and be happy...
And drink a beer of course!
It is definitely what I intend to do!

I woke up this morning feeling cruddy and terribly frumpy.
Fat days are what I refer to them as.
I just don't feel good.
So I always like to do a little compare and contrast on these days to make myself feel better.
I really have come a long way from the girl I once was...
L: 2009                         R: Current

"And the grinch, with his grinch feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling how could it be so? 
It came without ribbons, it came without tags, it came without packages, boxes or bags. 
And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore, then the grinch thought of something he hadn't before, what if Christmas, he thought doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas perhaps means a little bit more!"
Merry Christmas!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Post funk.

I cam across Mrs. Ell Noel's post today and it really struck a chord with me.
I have just been in a post funk as of late.
My weight is kinda just hanging out and I don't have anything exciting to talk about.
I could NEVER be a professional blogger.
Ain't nobody got no time for that!

I would never up and dip out of this blog.
I love sharing my highs', my lows, and my in-between moments.
Mostly about weight loss but other things in life as well.
Y'all have been an amazing support system for me!
making an appearance at the family holiday party
These days though I just can't be expected to write everyday.
I feel like I am boring the crap out of y'all!

Between sips of wine over the next couple of days you will find me wrapping presents and trying to keep my hand out of the cookies!
me singing christmas carolsme singing christmas carols
I hope that everybody has a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS and hopefully we can all try our hardest to keep it on the healthy side?!
I know for me personally I am on 22 days of tracking in MyFitnessPal and it feels AMAZING!

I am just going to keep doing my thang...
Not leaving, remember, just taking a tiny mental break during the holidays.
I will be popping in and out I am sure with updates!

Now is the time to tell me what YOU want to hear about?

I mean I can only tell you that my weight has remained at 160 for so long...
Or how cute my kids are...
Or how my Husband drug me out of bed Saturday morning at 6AM to finish our Christmas shopping...
You are all Milania.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Fat ghosts of Christmas past...

Bare with me...
I know this is just a proof of a picture but even the writing across the picture could not hide my fifteen chins and my fake uncomfortable smile.  
At least the kids looked cute...
Besides being pregnant this was the heaviest I had been in a LONG TIME.
I guess it's true what they say sometimes...
You get happy and then you get fat!
First Christmas as a family.
The same Christmas we became engaged.
Lots of happy memories but I was so uncomfortable.
I never even felt cute showing off my new shiny bling!

Just down right unhealthy.
A lot of yo you dieting that never worked.
And I ate.
I ate a lot...

Just three words that automatically come to my head.
Let me also remind you I was only roughly two months pregnant in this picture...
Ya chew on that for a minute.

Feeling much better as I had lost about 85 pounds here since having Payton.
Not many Christmas pictures taken because our entire house came down with some sort of stomach bug!

Although I don't have any pictures of me on Christmas Day I figured we were close enough ;)
Sitting at my lowest weight (still 160 I weighed myself for the last time for the next two months last night) and feeling better than I have in any of those previous pictures.
I was the girl that gained AT LEAST ten pounds over the holidays.
I didn't work out.
I was secretly sad.
I say that because I had a very convincing smile.
I loathed the holidays because of all the treats.
I literally would sit there torturing myself.
Wanting to eat so badly, eating, and then regretting it to the point sometimes I made myself sick afterwards.
My mind has been so poisoned for so long.
Some days it still is.
It's a learning process.
It's a growing process.
I have told y'all a thousand times I am not at the end of my journey.
Hell I don't think I ever will be.
Knowing me I will always be fighting.
But I would rather die a fighter than a quitter.
So that's why each day I pick myself back up (sometimes literally off the floor) and move forward.
One foot in front of the other.
People always say...
That's your problem.
You have it all wrong.
Just start right now.
And if you are like me you will try to over think it.
It's not rocket science.
First of all put a smile on your face and be happy.
Be thankful for all that is around you.
Simply move around.
I, myself, committed to at least a mile a day for the next month.
It doesn't have to be that big or it can be a bigger goal than that.
Just do something!
Drink your water.
Eat what you want just in moderation!
I know it sounds crazy but it's really that simple.
And quit focusing on the numbers.
I have to do this myself, too.
I was getting so fixated on the numbers on the scale, my caloric intake, and my calories burned.
I need a mental break.
We all do.
Just relax.
Enjoy the holidays.
But be happy and merry!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Fat day.

You know it's going to be a peachy ass hump day when right before you are getting ready to walk out the door for the day the doggy pup shits inside for the third time in less than 24 hours AND your 1 1/2 year old looks up at you with the sweetest most innocent eyes and smile and you smell her rear only to find out she has done went and shit her pants, too...

Needless to say I think my hair is still flapping in the wind from rushing around cleaning up shit and trying to fight traffic to get to work on time.

The doggy pup is doing well.
When I am home she does not leave my sight.
Exhibit A
I am just a tiny bit concerned because we ARE having issues with her going potty in the house.
No peeing just dropping deuces like it's her job and I make sure I take her out A LOT.
She seems to do it after I have fallen asleep... sneaky!
I make sure I take her out right before bed.
I keep her food up except for when it's time for her to eat.
Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
I can handle cleaning up the spare room she stays in during the day because I know she is in there for a long period of time.  Her messes are very minimal and there is no carpet in that room.
I just wish I could figure out a way to get her to poop outside instead of in!

Not that y'all care about my dogs bowel movements but I thought maybe somebody could give me some insight?!
She is three by the way so it's not like she is a puppy still...
She is set in her ways and very spoiled =)

This also happened yesterday.
PS thanks for all the sweet feed back I received.
I will have you know that I got home, felt like I swallowed a rock, and barely ate.
Decided to have a fat day I couldn't even enjoy!

I think here lately I have gotten entirely too caught up with numbers.
I didn't lose any weight!
I went over my calories by this much!
I only burnt this many calories!

I was talking to my sweet friend Kristen who has kicked weight loss's ass and taken it's name!!!

She has inspired me more than she will ever know.
She has given me a lot of great tips along the way.
I messaged her this morning asking for help.
I have been stuck.
I am in a rut.
She repeatedly told me to let go of the numbers and go on how I feel.
So she has convinced me to be serious about letting the scale go for two months.
I am going to weigh in today, tell her my number, and then I will not be weighing in again until February 18th.
I have already got it on my calendar to remind myself.
While I will still count my calories via My Fitness Pal I am not going to obsess or lose sleep about it like I was.
Mentally I could really use the break.
I also set up a challenge for myself to go "streaking" and committed to running at least 1 mile for the next month.
So until January 18th I will be running at least a mile per day.
Anybody care to join me?!
I like company I really tend to hate doing things alone =)
Okay so it's time to get some work done!
Hope everybody has a fabulous hump day!!!
Weigh IN Wednesday

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Abbie Marie Burris

Yes, I am still alive.
I've been busy Christmas shopping, eating my weight in my Momma's buckeye's (why lie about it), and oh yea this...
Meet Abbie Marie Burris.
Our three years new, 8 lb, Maltipoo.
We got her last night.
To say I am tired is an understatement.
She was with her previous owner for the first three years of her life.
I know she is shell shocked.
I think for being in a new home pooping in the house once is completely acceptable.
She was up and down a lot during the night so needless to say I didn't get much sleep.
In a nutshell I basically HATE this time of year.

I am in another rut.
I know how far I have come and I keep telling myself if I can just make it through Christmas maintaining I am good.
I don't know why I feel so depressed with that though?
It doesn't help either that the death of my Papaw is still so new and the Holidays bring a pain I couldn't have ever prepared myself for.
Just pray for me that I can get through these next couple of weeks without packing on the 10 pounds I promised myself I wouldn't!

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below 
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow 
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear 
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. 
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear 
But the sounds of music can't compare 
with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, 
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing. 
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart 
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear. 
And be glad I'm spending Christmas 
with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above. 
I sent you each a memory of my undying love. 
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold 
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told. 
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do 
For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you 
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear 
Remember, I am spending Christmas 
with Jesus Christ this year 

And just some random pics from my weekend since I am trying to get caught up!