Thursday, October 31, 2013

Do you have chocolate?

Can I say this above picture is heelarious and perfect for me today.
Well because one I love chocolate and well two Aunt Flo graced me with her presence on Halloween.
That's not even fair in my eyes...
Aunt Flo has her way of showing up on Holidays.
Like my very first period came in 5th grade on Christmas morning.
Talk about the worst present I have ever gotten...
Anyways that is a shit ton of TMI for you!!!!

{just look at my waist area}
About a 25ish pound difference in last year and this year.
Last year I didn't enjoy any Halloween candy.
I didn't even allow myself one friggn' piece.
This year I know that I can enjoy a couple pieces and leave it at that.
It won't hurt me.
I can still indulge at times like these and know that I am not going to go spiraling out of control.
Do you know what an amazing accomplishment that is for me?!
Typically one piece of candy would have sent me binging for days afterwards.
Because you know I already screwed up for the day and the cycle just never seemed to end.
Then you flow into Thanksgiving where you stuff yourself like a turkey...
And then there is Christmas and my Grandma's homemade sugar cookies.
My point is though...
I used to think I couldn't have any of those delicious things.
You can still have things you love...
You just have to be smart about it.
Portion control.

Food has ALWAYS controlled my life.
I find that the less I obsess over it the better I do.
I am still mindful but I do not let it control my day.
I drink tons of water and eat smaller meals when I am hungry.
And on days like today some of those smaller meals WILL include chocolate.
My kids and I have already came to an understanding =)

And I mean seriously...
The only way to do Halloween is to slap on a pink "P" bow, throw on a Monster shirt with a Mustache, and wear your leopard skinnies =)


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Cinnamon Buns.

Weigh In Wedneday
I find myself wanting to lose it in a bowl of Ben & Jerry's Cinnamon Buns followed with a bagel smothered in cream cheese and then maybe some Soft Batch Chocolate Chip cookies.
I am being honest.
The good news is I haven't and I won't.
It hasn't stopped me from wanting to do that though.
Emotions are a funny thing.
They can make you do things that you wouldn't normally do!
Specifically things that are NOT good for your health.
I do feel better today than I did yesterday but things still are not 100%.
I am doing my best to be more like my Husband.
I swear that man could be faced with the worst possibly scenario and he would still manage to crack a smile and find the positive in all of it.
I always thought I was a positive person until I met him.
I am lucky to have him though because he brings me back down to reality and he is what keeps me going.
So what am I doing instead of eating like a ravaged beast?
I am sticking to my calories, watching my portions, and focusing on my workouts.
I can see a little definition no?
What do you guys do when you become stressed or your emotions get the best of you?
Oh and what about all that Halloween Candy that will grace your Halloween Candy Bowls soon, if not already?
Oh PS...
This might have came up in conversations on Monday.
Ya I don't know what to think about all that either.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Shit sandwich.

If I am being honest...
And you all know that is the only way I know how to be...
Life has really handed the ol' Husby and I the biggest shit sandwich you have ever laid your eyes on.
Without going into any detail just pray for us.
When things are going on like this I cannot write.
I just can't.
I will just leave you with a little glimpse of the only thing that made me crack a side smile this morning.
First off what the hell was I thinking with that first outfit last year?
I was trying to be all hip Pinterested but it obviously ended in a major fail.
Secondly the picture from today I do believe could pass as a silver garbage bag.
I hate getting rid of clothes but this thing may be making it's way into the Goodwill bag :(

Hope y'all are eating sandwiches filled with rainbows and unicorns instead of shit like me.
Happy Tuesday!

Friday, October 25, 2013

You make the BEST Chicken & Dumplings that have ever graced my lips...

You put your clothes outside of the hamper.
You leave dirty dishes in the sink.
You shave your head which you know I hate.
You are stubborn.
You are addicted to Candy Crush.
You hate cheese.
You snore and fart in your sleep.
You steal my covers.
You always bring home candy that I want to eat.
But for all those things that could make me spit fire at times...
You are an AMAZING Daddy to our girls.
You are a hard worker.
You are faithful.
You are hilarious.
You can make a mean Chicken & Dumpling's.
You are smarter than you give yourself credit for.
You are reliable.
You put up with me and love me at my best, but also at my very worst.
You ARE my best friend.
I don't think I will ever be able to tell you just how much you mean to me.
Sometimes I may have a funny way of showing it because I am either running around cleaning up the house, stressed, or just in a bad mood for some reason or another.
I am only human.
My love for you will NEVER change.
We have been through so much together and I cannot imagine having anybody else by my side.
Just make sure your clothes actually make it into the hamper...
And maybe try to like cheese soon?

Thursday, October 24, 2013


We all have them.
It's how I went from this...
to this...
over about a 15 month span.
I reached for things I once used to think would NEVER be attainable for me.
Me?  Run a mile?
Me life weights?
Me lose 100+ pounds?
Me be a MILF?
Okay well that last one is just being funny but I do feel pretty damn awesome most days.
So a few new goals for the next six months or so.
I am running the Thanksgiving Day 10k Race on Thanksgiving Day
I want to be 15? by my doctor's appointment November 21st.
Lose weight over the holidays not gain {I did it last year so I know I am able}
Possibly run the Heart Mini Half in March.
Definitely running the Flying Pig Half in May.
Be at the top weight of my BMI by May 1st.
Be swimsuit ready by May 1st which means I want to see definition that I have never seen before.
I posted this picture on Facebook/IG yesterday.

Okay so all this BMI got me to thinking and doing some research, etc. etc. etc. etc. {I should totally stay off the WebMD but that's another story for another day...} Anyways, according to the BMI for my height and age and blah blah blah I... should weigh anywhere from 104 to 141. Can y'all imagine me at 104? I can't at all because I wouldn't have a pulse... LOL Seriously! It's never going to happen. I do have a goal of hitting that top number though. I still can't get those damn doctor's words out of my head that 175 "might" just be MY number. No doctor... no no no no no! My weight fluctuates SO STINKING BAD. This past weekend I was at 160 and I weighed myself yesterday and I was 167 yet I felt thinner and people were commenting on how much thinner I look. WEIRD! So I promised myself that I am breaking up with the scale until my November 21st doc appt. I am literally taking that shit up to my Granny's and making her hide it for the next month and if you think I am kidding then you don't know me. My newest goal is to be 140 by this time next year. Fit and toned is where it's at. Maybe I won't get there maybe I will?! You will just have to stick around and find out... I do know this... Hard work pays off and I feel better this year than I did at this time last year...
Oh and my goal by November 21st if you were wondering is to see 15? on the doctor's scale. We all know doctor's scales are bastards so wish me luck!
After some comments being thrown around, etc. I think I am going to start a private Facebook group for all of you that want to try to obtain similar goals as I do by May 1st.
It would be a way to hold yourself accountable and get the support from others you deserve.
Who knows maybe even make a real life bestie along the way?!  =)
If you are interested and are on Facebook let me know!
I am still trying to get my girl Darci to come up with a name but if you think of something and want to pass it along don't hesitate to do so.
Haha I laughed too hard at this :)

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

One tantrum away from losing myself in a box of Franzia...

Weigh In Wedneday

Hump day already?
Kinda hard to believe time is just movin' and groovin' right along!
Hump Day Quote Camel Coffee Mug
So I have decided for today I would not share my weight.
Well for the main reason that I didn't weigh in.
I told you all a couple of weeks ago that I plan on being in the 150's by my doctor's appointment on November 21st.
I do have a specific number in my head but if the scale starts with the first two numbers being a 1 and a 5 I will be happy.
You know how doctor's scales are anyways...
I just decided I am going to eat clean and workout and leave the rest in God's hands.
I am not going to weigh myself until November 21st.
Yes, that is right.
I have even contemplated giving the scale to my Gran that lives next door just so I won't be tempted.
I even kind of want her to hide it from me.
It is definitely like an addiction for me personally...
Every time I see it I want to step on it.
Get off the scale #quote Steve Maraboli #weightloss #bodyimage #youarebeautiful #beauty
I know some of it is about the number.
But COMEONNNNNNNNNNNNN already it is A LOT of how you feel.
Today I feel, dare I say it, FUCKING AMAZING.
Maybe I am still high off that workout I had yesterday?
Maybe it's the fact that a co-worker made a comment on how "skinny" I am looking lately?
Or the fact that my Hubs can't keep his hands off of me?
Regardless I just feel damn good.
Moving right along...
I wanted to share my White Chicken Chili Recipe with those of you who had asked for it!
I got the original recipe from my girl Nat which you can find here.
I did end up adding some extra things like Tastefully Simples Garlic Garlic and Seasoning Salt to spruce it up a bit!
When I ate it yesterday I added just a touch of sour cream.
Let me just say it DID NOT disappoint.
Hey and it's healthy!
In other news I wanted to touch on something I am feeling this morning.
Exhibit A
This is me upon arrival to work this morning.
I was lucky enough to wash my ass this morning let alone actually fix my hair.
This morning really had me questioning myself as a Mother.
Am I cut out for this?
Am I a good Mom?
Gosh, I feel like a horrible Mom!
God trusted me with these three beautiful girls what the hell am I doing?!
 Why can't they be perfect little angels and why can't I be 5'3, 110 pounds, and have the house smelling like fresh baked apple pie 24/7?!
I just wish sometimes my Husband could be a fly on the wall.
It is so hard on me to get these three girls ready, myself including, and out the door at a reasonable time.
That's even with me waking up on time.
It's like pulling teeth to get Shelby to listen to anything in the mornings.
Dragging her out of bed is like World War 3.
All while Payton is into the liquor cabinet again and Lauren's in la la land watching the latest episode of Duck Dynasty.
Then the fights...
Oh lawdy the fights.
I was literally hoarse when we left the house this morning from screaming.
Hate it.
Sometimes though I lose it and I just don't know what else to do.
Please tell me I am not the only one who goes through this or feels like this?
Please tell me that I am not the only Mama who is one tantrum away from losing myself in a box of Franzia?
This Mama obviously needs a break.
 Tomorrow I will be back with some new goals for myself!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

How do YOU do it?!

I get asked LOTS of questions on a daily basis.
No, before you think I am bitching about said questions, I LOVE GETTING THEM!
The main one that I get though is HOW?
Just as simple as that...
How do you do it?
Being a full time working Mom and Wife it seems tricky to most.
As simple as the question is the answer is honestly just as simple.
I have spent the last 26 1/2 years of my life making excuses for myself.
I am too tired.
I am too busy.
My house needs to be cleaned.
My kids aren't going to know who I am.
You know them all by now I am sure...
I decided after P was born the excuses had to stop.
It wasn't until this past March though that I really buckled down and got serious.
I figured I would break down my typical day so you could see exactly how I do my thang.
It may, or it may not, work for you.
I try to wake up when my alarm goes off at 5:40...
Most mornings that doesn't happen.
Like this morning when I finally popped out of bed at 6:15 with hopes of being out of the house at 6:45...
{insert hysterical laughing here}
^Hot mess express...
I have to not only get myself ready but I have to get the girls ready as well.
Most mornings the older girls can get themselves dressed, teeth brushed, and shoes on but I can't count on them for much more than that.
While I am trying to apply makeup and run around like the human tornado picking the house up {yes, I am anal like that} I have a 15 month old holding onto my right leg for dear life.
Or she may find it interesting to unroll a whole roll of toilet paper, empty out my lazy susan, or get in the liquor cabinet for shits and giggles.
I make it out the door and it's time to drop the little wild hyenas  darlings off to their destinations.
I stop at my Hubby's store, grab a kiss and a free cup of mojo, and I am off to catch the bus.
Just in the knick of time I make it to the bus stop with all of my eleventeen {okay that may be exaggerating just a tad} bags.
Bags, that I assure you I probably don't, need but I think I do.
What if?!
Ya know...
I get to work and start my work day at 8:30.
Then what everybody is dying to know.
How do you work out at work?
It's quite simple like I said before.
I get an hour.
I run down to the gym and change my clothes.
I allow myself 10 minutes or less for this which sometimes can be a challenge but I figure if I am fast I am burning calories.
Then I allow myself 35-40 minutes depending on how long it took me to change for my workout.
I work it out.
Then if you can do the math that gives me anywhere from 10-15 minutes to shower, get myself together, and get back to work.
Don't look at me all side eyed...
I see you.
Do I look super model status?
Hell to the no.
But I look presentable and professional and that's all that matters.
Regardless I am a BAMF because I just busted my ass for the last hour.
I work until five and typically get home around six.
I don't sit down y'all.
Sometimes I don't even sit down to eat dinner.
I will stand at the dinner table with my family and eat.
I hate to sit.
I know when I sit I am done for and there is just too much to be done.
If there is time to lean, there is time to clean.
I also feel like if I am up doing something I am obviously burning more calories!
It depends on the day.
Last night my ass didn't grace the couch until 9:30 and I was in bed by 10...
I head off to dream land just to start it all again the next day.
I am not tooting my own horn or anything but if I can make it work so can you.
So what if you don't have a gym at your work?
What about just taking a walk during lunch?
What about working out at a gym before or after work?
What about using the outside as your gym or popping Jillian in your DVR?!
What about looking things up on this lovely thing I like to call Pinterest =)
Trust me feeling like a BAMF and doing the damn thing feels so much better than being lazy.
I remind myself of that every day.
There are days I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do anything.
It's after I do that I feel my best.
I feel accomplished.
And when I do these things it trickles down and makes every other part of my life that much more enjoyable.
PS for those of you wondering when I actually eat my lunch.  I personally never eat anything big before my workouts.  I will either have a hard boiled egg, tablespoon full of peanut butter, etc.
I always think simple and easy for lunch.
I love Progresso Light Soups, Salads, Sandwich, etc. paired with some fruit.
I eat a lot of small things throughout the day so I am never starving.
Just remember that no, it isn't easy, but it IS doable.
You ARE worth it.
We only get one life to live we might as well make the best of it and enjoy it while we are here.
PSS If you are still here and reading you are awesome.
I was going to say I would give you a cookie but instead and I am going to show you this insanely cute video of my kid.

Monday, October 21, 2013

The freakin' weekend update!

This weekend was the first weekend I finally felt like things were getting back to normal.
I mean the new normal without my Papaw.
It sounds so weird.
I still have plenty of moments where I just can't wrap my head around the fact that he is gone.
But I am doing okay.
I have allowed myself to laugh and I have also allowed myself to cry.
It's all a part of the healing process.
Friday night the Hubs and I were in bed by 8:30 PM if that tells you anything.
Since Payton had decided to party from 1 o'clock on the previous night we were pooped.
Don't hate.
Saturday I cleaned for a majority of the day and got the kids ready for their night at Aunt Michelle's.
Kevin's boss takes all of the managers and their spouses out once a year for a night of food, booze, and fun!
I have really turned Mom Status though because I was tired by midnight and ready to go...

Regardless we had a blast even if I did poop out and totally fell asleep in the party van on the way back to our car.
It didn't stop me from begging for some Awful Waffle at 1AM...
Waffle bigger than my head paired with hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, and diced.
I paid for it yesterday but it seemed worth it at the time.
Yesterday I had 2nd day hair, 2nd day makeup, and 2nd day jeans...
Oh and I got my purse in the mail this morning that I ordered for myself for Sweetest Day last week...
...And I was worried it wouldn't be big enough LOL

This week I am finally jumping back on the working out band wagon.
This is not to say I have been lazy.
There is never a time I generally sit on the couch and do nothing.
I am ALWAYS active.
But I am making making my way back into the gym.
It's scary to think that I have been away from it as long as I have...
I am also majorly cleaning up my diet and thinking of new goals for myself!
Stay tuned...