Learning that I am worthy...

#operationredbikin with Kassie and Leigh Ann

Ya it's a two post kinda day.

Honestly I was originally not going to post this.

Part of me feels like I shouldn't because I am not where I originally wanted to be.

I will be the first to tell you that these last four or five months I have been riding first class on the struggle bus.

I am exercising like it's my job but my eating hasn't been great and I just don't think I was doing enough.

But...

I really have come a LONG way since having Payton on July 25th of this past year.

I weighed in at a whopping 265 pounds.

Sure part of that was baby, part of that was water, but A LOT of that was unhealthy eating.

What can I say?

I was on bed rest starting at the very beginning of February with nobody to talk to besides myself during the day.

I was bored.

So I ate.

I am 5'2 and it was BAD.

About an hour after I had delivered.

 

This was taken at a Bengals game 11-4-12 and I was weighing about 185 here.

 

My Husband caught a full body picture of me running the sweeper 11-10-12

The same day we had our pictures taken and it's a little less blurry...



In these two pictures above I was still wearing maternity jeans.

Today I can assure you they are gone and are too big =)

 

This past year was the first year I have ever actually lost weight during the Holiday season.

Normally it starts with Halloween candy which leads into Thanksgiving eating and then we all know how hard it is to say no to those delicious sugar cookies during the Christmas season.

Somehow I managed though.

 

New Year's Eve was the best I had felt in a while.

Dare I say I felt thin?

Weighing in at 173.



 

I hit my 100 pound weight loss (actually 102) on February 22nd and that's when things started to get hairy for me.

 

 

I started working out at the gym which most of you are thinking well how could things have gone downhill?

 

 

Well I would say my emotions played a huge part.

I had just lost 100+ pounds which means I can have more of things I want right?

WRONG

 

My eating became out of control again.

So even though I was killing it at the gym I wasn't doing anything for myself because of my bad eating habits.

To make it worse it was all late at night.

I am a rock star during the day but HORRIBLE at night.

 

This led to a reality check a couple of weeks ago when I weighed myself.



It is terribly hard for me to share this picture.

If it's anything I am not though is a fake.

I will always share my successes as well as my fails because that's real life.

This picture was taken for a Biggest Loser Competition that I started on May 1st.

 

I am now down to 173 but I am also learning that it's not all about the number one the scale.

And even with some downfalls I have STILL had some major successes during this time.

 

I ran my first 5k as the new me on March 19th.

I have done quite a few of these but this is the only one I have ever actually trained for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I ran my first 10k on May 4th.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So although I am not where I wanted to be I have still accomplished and done so many things.

And even though I am not at the weight that I was in February (about 10 pounds heavier) I feel better than I did then.

I feel stronger.

I consider that a win.

 

 

Right:  December 2009

Left:  Last week

 

 

I may not be bikini ready just yet but I can sure shittn' rock the hell out of a skirt =)

 

Regardless I am finding that I am worthy.
I have worked hard.
I never have given up even when things got tough.
I will continue to fight until I get where I want to be. 



Well shit the bed Fred... It's as easy as that?!



HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!

 

Well shit the bed Fred...

Who didn't know that cleaning up your eating could lead to a three pound weight loss already

Yup!

Down three pounds since Wednesday.

Not that I care because honestly I need to get it out of my head that just because I am not losing weight on the scale, even if I am gaining, it doesn't ALWAYS mean something bad.

My girl Alex really struck a chord with me yesterday.

First if you don't know her let me just show you what she has accomplished in just a few short months...

She has only lost roughly 8-10 pounds but she has went from a size 16 to a size 10 in less than 8 weeks.

Ummmm hello!

She actually told me she gets excited when she doesn't lose or even if she gains.

It means she is getting stronger aka more muscle!!!

Alex herself has been doing crossfit and watcing her eating.

She is definitely an inspiration to me.

But she is also been the most influential person in my life right now that has made me see it does NOT matter what you weigh on the scale.

It's all about how you feel and the way your body is looking.



Y'all I weighed in at 173 this morning.

Do I feel like I weigh that much?

Hell no.

I have learned a lot this week but the most important thing is that even if the scale isn't budging or you even gained a few pounds... It doesn't mean you are failing! I am still up four pounds but y'all I am busting my ass and I feel stronger and better than ever. When my daughters think of me I want them to say to themselves, "WOW! My Mom is strong, healthy, and I want to be just like her!" ... For so long I thought that being in shape meant if you could see my bones then I must be doing something right. No! Oh how wrong I have been this whole time! It really doesn't matter how much you weigh... it's how you feel on the inside and out. The old me would have given up on this new weight lifting routine I am doing after the first time I did it. I won't lie, I am SO SORE! I did it for the first time on Tuesday and I cannot even extend my arm out in front of me hardly at all. I did it for the second time today and honestly... I thought I was going to die before I did it. Old me was on my shoulder telling me I couldn't and I proved old me wrong. I fought through and was able to do the entire weight lifting routine from end to beginning today. Tuesday I had to modify greatly. It always looks much easier on the paper but when I actually do it about five minutes in it's typically bitch slapping me in the face. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to! Never give up. Never quit fighting!!!

 

Tomorrow I am going to a Zumba class.

I love Zumba.

I basically used to be Queen Zumba and then the place I went to stopped offering it.

So I am rusty!

Hopefully I don't keel over.

I am basically going because I like to get jiggy with it and the calorie burn is ridonkulous.

I need that considering I am going to a fish fry Saturday night!

 

The lady teaching the class I used to work with.

I haven't seen her in over five years.

Apparently she has lost 70+ pounds and is teaching the class now!!!

I cannot wait to see her.

Oh and my Momma is going, too...

Needless to say this should be interesting!!!



Summer Bucket List with Holly & Trista!

How could I resist linking up with these two fine asses?

We all know my love for Holly duh!

And I love me some Trista!

 

Honestly this was hard.

Hard for the sheer simple fact that I have never even thought about writing a bucket list.

Like ever.

I know a lot of bloggers that do it I just never have.

 

Welp there is a first time for everything y'all!!!

 

I kind of stole the idea from Holly and Trista and made my list into a pretty little picture.

 

 

Nothing too crazy.

Mostly I just want to have a happy and fun summer with a lot of laughter and some beer thrown in on the side.

I want to spend lots of time with family and cherish this time with my girls.

They are growing up far too fast for my liking!
Oh and be super annoyingly healthy.

 



 

PS If you were here yesterday I want it to be known that I have already dropped two of those 6 pounds.

HALLEFRACKNLUYAAAAAAAA!!!



Screams on the scale...

 

Today is brought to you by the sound of my screams as I stood on the scale this morning.

Yes, it happened.

I even woke the baby up.

To say I was pissed is an understatement.

I know what your thinking...

Why even get on that thing?

I thought you broke up with it?

Well I can't help it.

That is the one thing that has always held me accountable.

It's the one thing that always made me happy and made me felt good about what I was doing.

Today it just made me feel like shit.

What am I doing wrong?

I feel like part of me is to blame but part of me is like seriously how did I gain that much?

How do I seriously weigh that much?

I try so hard to remind myself that it's more about how you feel and less about the number.

I know that for the most part.

BUT A 6 POUND GAIN?!

Seriously?!

I feel so defeated right now...

 

Typically I would just call it a day.

I would eat a ton of crappy food and forget about working out.

But that was the old me...

 

The new me stopped at Kroger this morning on the way to work.

I re-stocked up on bananas, salad, all my salad fixins, and some odds and ends like natural peanut butter and kiwi.

I am determined to eat clean.

At this point I think that is my ONLY problem.

I am killing it with the workouts.
I promise I would own up to that if I wasn't.

So I am just going to continue to switch up my workouts daily.

I don't want my body to get stuck doing the same thing all the time and I think that was also a huge part of my problem in previous weeks.

I have come entirely too far to give up now.

Or for my body to give up on me.

Regardless this is fixable.

I still have quite a bit of weight to lose and fat to tone.

 

I really need help with my nights.

During the day I am so on point.

Nights kill me.

Ya know the down time when you can't sleep and you want to sit in front of the television and watch your favorite shows after everyone is asleep.

I reckon that I am just going to have to stock up on healthy options for myself.

It's hard when you have cabinets stocked full of chips, dips, and candy.

{curses Husband}

 

Goals:

~I know I say this everytime but I have got to track everything I eat.

Everything.

My Fitness Pal even makes it easy for me...

Yet I always fail to complete a day here or there because I forget.

That's no excuse.

Even if I am over my calories.

TRACK TRACK TRACK!!!

 

 





~WATER

This pretty much goes without saying.

 

 

~Cleaner eating.

Back away from all processed foods.

 

 

~Keep on keepn' on...

Exercise.

Listen to my body.

Switch things up.

Work through the soreness.

Sunday will be my one rest day of the week.

 

Oh PS if anybody cared Barbie Mel killed me yesterday.

Well her workout did anyways.

It looked sooooooooooooooooo easy...

And then about five minutes in I was bitched slap back into reality.

 

Hope everybody has a happy and healthy Hump Day!!!!

PSS I love tall boys but they hate me...

 



It's Tuesday which feels like a Monday need I say more?!

It's seriously another work week?

So I am just drinking my coffee out of a straw because what other way do you cope with it being the beginning of another work week? 

Too bad it's just straight coffee I could use some liquor right now to mask the pain of the sunburn I am rockin'...

And I am wearing the lightest thing I could find in my closet today.  It's not heavy and barely touches my skin.

Is it hot in here????

Anyways...
I am hanging out over at my homeslice Kimmmyyyylimmmyyydingdong's page today to tell y'all why I make a good BFF.
Cheers to a Tuesday that feels like Monday!!!!

FattoFit Friday with Lori my soul seester from another meester!

The one and only Lori is guest posting for me today.

She has been such an inspiration and sweet spirit to step into my life.

God has a path for us all and he chose for us to meet!

She is a freaking rock star and if you don't follow her you really need to.

She has given me so much amazing advice along the way and helps me to keep pushing along.

I figured she would be the perfect person to guest post before the holiday weekend.

Seriously Mama is bangin'!!!

 

Hey guys, it's Lori from FATTOFIT41! I am here to post for one of my absolute favs, MARCY!!! I thought I would do a little post on how to keep your healthy eating habits in check, over the holiday weekend!

1. If you are going to a party where you KNOW they are serving nothing but crap, eat a healthy little snack before you leave the house. Some protein would be best. AND....drink a HUGE glass of water!

2. If you are going to a party and need to bring a dish, make a lighter version of one of your favorite fat filled treats! I tend to always bring buffalo chicken dip, made light. I use light ranch, Greek yogurt and a little bit of miracle whip in mine! I also bake my own tortilla chips. I make them from the low carb, high fifer tortillas. Just cut them up into triangles and toast them up!

3. Try and drink alcoholic beverages that are not all sugary! So if you want a margarita, use Diet Sierra Mist, lime juice and tequila. It ends up tasting quite yummy. I have also made a yummy drink with Diet Squirt and pink grapefruit flavored Vodka. SO YUMMY! Another go to for me is UV Blue and Crystal Light Lemonade. These are all yummy and have way less carbs than a Jose Cuervo Margarita!

4. When drinking, I have a glass of water in between my adult beverages. It keeps you hydrated AND fills you up!

5. If you are not bringing your own dish to share, look for things that are not mayo based. I try and avoid the dips. Look for hummus or salsa. Also try and avoid pre-mixed salads. Salad dressing can be a killer! The calories add up so quickly and they just aren't worth it. If something is already in a sauce, I try and wipe some of the sauce off. BBQ sauce tends to be loaded with sugar. Again, such a waste of calories. As far as chips go, measure out a serving. You will be amazed that 15 Doritos or Tortilla chips really is enough to satisfy you. If they have a bowl of nuts, go for the almonds or walnuts. I just don't think you get many nutrients from a peanut. :)

6. Desserts! They do NOT have to be your downfall. I always bring my own to share. Even if I don't have to, I do. I try and make something with fruit. Usually a lower calorie crisp. I also love to bring no-bake cookies. Another good one is mock ice cream sandwiches. I take some graham crackers, chocolate or regular, put on some cool whip that is either plain or flavored with PB2, drizzle some Hershey's low sugar syrup on it, top with another graham cracker and freeze. SO YUMMY! The kids will love these!

7. When grilling out, I make burgers. I don't eat red meat, so I make turkey burgers. But regular burgers are still OK! When buying ground turkey, I get the extra lean. I add some Worcestershire sauce, a little Heinz 57 and some spices. This makes the burgers extra tender. When I put it on the bun, I scrape out the top of the bun, less carbs this way! I also use very little ketchup and use a yummy mustard with pickles and 2% American Cheese. You can bake up some sweet potato fries and serve them with some honey mustard. SO GOOD! I also love to make cole slaw, but I make a vinegar based one. Deviled eggs are good too, just use light mayo ( I use light miracle whip) and Splenda. Baked beans are good, just measure out your serving. A little really does go a long way. If you want chips, get some Sun Chips. These are so yummy and tend to be more filling and easier on the grease factor.

8. If you fill like you really just want to eat like a piggy, up your workouts! They don't have to be long and drawn out, fit a couple 20 minute ones in. On the weekends I like to work out first thing. Then it is done. I also like to do a 20 minute one in the late afternoon. This helps with the guilt factor and tends to make me less hungry. Heck even cleaning the house counts! So that for an hour or so. Also yard work can be a killer calorie burner.

9. I use myfitnesspal and this also helps me keep on track. If you are seeing all that you are putting in your body, you are less likely to over indulge.

10. Most important thing to remember, you CAN have what you want, just have it in moderation. Don't give yourself a free pass to eat like a piggy all weekend. If you do, come Tuesday morning, you will be pissed at yourself and most likely feel like shit! Challenge yourself. See just how "good" you can eat. This is what I do. Then I give myself a "fat day" later in the week. Take advantage of all the fresh fruits and veggies that are coming into season. Grill up some pineapple and top it with Greek yogurt. Have a big ole slice of watermelon. That alone with fill you up and make you piss like a race horse!

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend. Please be safe and if you over indulge, IT IS OK! Just go do a 10 minute tabata workout, you will be A OK!

XO,

Lori

 

PS remember kids don't do anything I wouldn't do!

PSS I am wearing a size 8 in pants today.  Word to your Mother.

Toya Thursday, I learned how to make a GIF... of myself, and Holly's 30 day ab challenge #nomorefoodbaby

So I know that I promised I would be back today I told a minor fib.

I totally forgot about my girl Toya and her guest posting for me.

You will LOVE her.

She is on the weight loss train herself and girlfriend has a booty to die for.

Sorry I'm not sorry for saying that.

Oh and she can fit her hands down her pants and make it look sexy.

That's talent.

OMG a guest post for MARCY!!!! Whaaat…

Ok get it together… Well now that I’m all freakin out because I’m star struck allow me to introduce myself. I’m Toya and blog over at Kismet and Kilograms (shameless plug LOL). I discuss this never ending weight loss journey, my wedding I’m planning, my family, and mental health related topics (Im a therapist by day)…basically a little of this and a little of that and that’s how I like it. I don’t want my blog to fit into one category. Oh and I enjoy this a lot...

Even with my love of the above I have still managed to lose 20 plus pounds and keep it off. I will admit that the drinks slow down the process but it is possible. You just have to be strict about EVERYTHING else!

So what finally kicked my but into high gear was getting engaged and thinking Holy crap I am going to look like a cow walking down the isle. I have battled my weight for a while and you can read pieces of my journey here. However I stopped by to say if you are thinking of starting your own weight loss/get healthy journey JUST DO IT and nope Nike is not paying me, or should I be paying them for that saying???? Either way you have to put your big girl panties on and just do it.

Complaining gets us no where but exercise and drinking water like we are being paid to (as Marcy told me to do) WILL. I was not blessed with a body that can simply shed the weight from counting points or calories,or whatever else you can count I have to exercise. Knowing this was half the battle. With that said I hit the gym and sweat, cried, walked, and eventually ran my way to a 20 pound loss. I know for a fact I look a hot mess at the gym. No cute workout attire for me. Its old school sweats from back in the day and a t-shirt. However I know eventually I will be extra hot outside the gym. So please don't let your fear of looking foolish discourage you. I have fallen at the gym (during peak hours, and once in a step class) but I keep going back, because I want the results. If you don't have a gym the same rules apply get moving just do it at home!

It WAS NOT and IS NOT easy but  IT IS worth it. To see my clothes falling off and not be forced into pants that were too small 2 sizes ago (Oh I'm the only one that refuses to buy a bigger size huh). To stop pulling at my shirt and wearing jackets even when I'm hot because my back rolls and belly are too embarrassing. these feelings are well worth it. I am no where near my goal but I'm not as far away as I was when I was sitting on the couch stuffing my face either!!

Hope you got a little motivated and if not I have a picture for you look closely at the girl whose smile is genuine. 

Yes my arms are in self proclaimed sexy big girl pants!!!!!

Thanks for reading hope you feel motivated because f I can do it ANYONE can!!!

PS Good things to come next week because I just found out to make GIFs...  of myself!!!!

PSS If you want to participate my homeslice Holly is hosting a 30 day ab challenge go over and see the details if you want in on the action!



Wendy Wednesday!



Hey peeps!

It's hump day and you know what that means?

Duh it's Wednesday...

And not just any Wednesday!

I have a special guest today for weigh-in Wednesday who has given me a lot of inspiration to keep going!!!

I am STILL, yes STILL, fighting the hell virus.

{my thisshitfuckingsucks face}

I do feel a lot better today but I am not saying I feel better just yet because I don't want to jinx it.

I promise my sassy ass will be back tomorrow.

In the meantime meet Wendy!!!

Hi, y'all! I'm Wendy, writer at Daily Dose of Del Signore. I am guest posting for Marcy today and I want to share my weight loss story with you. Losing weight has been such a struggle for me, but I have honestly never felt better in my entire life. I battled with daily heartburn, back issues, and depression because I had put on so much weight. Now that I am healthier, I have a second chance to really enjoy life. So, here's my story....

• On November 12, 2011, I celebrated my son's second birthday. We spent the day with our families at a local railroad museum. When I got home, I started going through all the pictures. That was the very moment I realized that I was done with it all. I was beyond devastated that I was actually balancing my son on my fat roll in pictures.
• 
• I was approached by Sensa to try two months of their products and blog about it. I jumped at the opportunity! I started their program on December 26, 2011. At that time I started looking at everything I was eating. Sense really decreased my appetite which was helpful since I loved to pig out on unhealthy foods.
• By January 4, 2012, I had lost 16 pounds with Sensa. I started to see my health problems decrease and I began drinking more water.
• On January 16, 2012, I finally gathered the courage to show everyone here my before pictures. Those before pictures have motivated me when I have gotten discouraged with a plateau. I also discovered that day so many of you were actually pulling for me! It was so humiliating to show how out of control things were for me, but it was also the most freeing thing I had done. I allowed myself to see reality and let y'all hold me accountable!
• On January 25, 2012, I finally reached my prepregnancy weight! I never thought I would achieve that. I had given up hope and I was just amazed when it finally happened.
• February 20, 2012, I had lost 27 pounds. My Sensa experiment was over and I was scared that I couldn't do it without the products.
• At the beginning of March, I had almost reached my half way mark. March 1, 2012, my family took so many pictures at the marina I work for. I was so proud of my progress and thrilled to see pictures of me with my son that I didn't cringe over. Little did I know that my weight loss journey would be put on hold the very next day.

• March 2, 2012, my whole life was completely turned upside down. The marina my family works for was hit by an EF3 tornado. For the next three weeks, we worked non-stop without a day off. Our lives were filled with clean up efforts and any attempt to return to normal. Your can read about it HERE, HERE, and HERE. Friends, I have never been through a more traumatic period in my life.
• Due to the stress and my insane emotional eating, I didn't officially reach my half way mark until April 20, 2012. I was simply watching everything I ate to lose this weight.
• On May 29, 2012, I had plateaued for around 4-5 weeks. I decided to start actually counting my calories and staggering them. I would eat 1200 calories one day, then I would jump up to about 1600 the next. It kept my body from getting used to the same intake each day and I started working out of the plateau.
• On August 10, 2012, I found a water that I didn't mind drinking! I shared the apple-cinnamon detox water that I absolutely swear by. Not only did it make water more tolerable at the time, but I was able to lose weight that crept back up. If you hate water, please give this a try!
• On October 1, 2012, I started sharing some of my tips and tricks in my 31 Days to a Better You Series. Looking back now, I believe this is where I really started to notice how much I wanted to inspire others to live healthier lives. I have a huge heart to help people reach a healthier weight and I am so blessed that this blog can do that.
• November 12, 2012, found me comparing my year's progression.
• December 21, 2012, I was nominated for a WEGO health activist award.
• January 30, 2012, I finally admitted here what scared me into finally taking my weight loss seriously.
• March 12, 2013, I shared my water drinking habits, sugar intake, and how I aim to eat one salad a day.
• Even though I had lost a lot of weight, I needed to tighten up my skin. It Works Body Wraps do the trick! My tummy area has shrunk so much. When I revealed my weight last week, so many people couldn't believe it. I look much smaller than I am because of the wraps.

My biggest things that help me stay focused?

• Eat protein! For breakfast, I eat a protein bar and Greek yogurt to keep me full. I consume 20 grams of protein just for breakfast.
• Keep your butt out of those fast food places in the beginning! Get control of your eating and then make healthy choices while dining out. Some places I don't step foot in: Kentucky Fried Chicken (their only veggie is green beans filled with sodium) and Long John Silvers. If you walk in a place to eat that doesn't offer more then two salad meal options, turn your behind around. Not even kidding. When I eat out, I stick with salads unless I go somewhere that has low calorie menu options. Applebee's is fabulous for this!
• Drink more water. Take your body weight and divide it in half. That is the number of ounces of water per day that you need!
• Work your way into a healthier lifestyle by making one change at a time. Let one healthy change become a habit before starting the next. Don't overwhelm yourself by trying to overhaul your life overnight. I promise it rarely works and normally doesn't last very long.
• Keep track of your calories. I use My Fitness Pal and I love it. You can easily calculate how many calories are in meals at your favorite restaurants. It helps you stay on track! Some large dinner salads can contain more calories that regular menu meals.
• Take Before and During pictures. There will be days that you are just so frustrated. If I didn't have these, I might have quit. Take measurements as well. Even though you may be getting smaller, your mind doesn't always accept that fact. Some days I still feel like I'm 60 pounds heavier.
• Hold yourself accountable by sharing your progress with friends or family. When I shared my progress with my Facebook friends, I got such an overwhelming amount of support.
• Find a weight loss buddy! I have made several weight loss blog friends along the way. We cheer each other on. I've also found friends at church that I enjoy going to Zumba with. I don't think I would have tried it on my own (I'm actually a little shy in real life), but I am so glad my friends got hooked on it with me.
• Eat one big salad a day. Period.
• Stick to the whole grains to feel fuller and leave starches and sugars behind.

To date I have lost 57.9 pounds. I have 3.6 pounds to lose until I reach my original weight loss goal. My journey will not end there! I plan to set new goals and work towards becoming healthier.

On November 12, 2011, I wore a size 18 pair of jeans. I wore XL everything. Actually, I still ran around in some of my maternity clothes...

Today, I wear a size 10 comfortably. I wear mostly Mediums with some Smalls now. Just in my pooch area of my belly I have lost 10 whole inches of fat. I am not on any medications and I have no health issues. This is by far the healthiest I have been in my entire life.

I hope you'll follow along over at Daily Dose of Del Signore as I reach my goal and keep going!