Tuesday, January 8, 2013

In the wine you'll find the truth.

Helene in Between



There is a fine line between want and need.
But most of the shit I THINK I need I don't really have to have.
According to Husby anyways...
I just roll my eyes and spend the dough like I am muthafukn Beyonce anywayz...
Ooooopsies.
And damn that Pinterest for making me jones over all kinds of shit.
And damn you bitches for making me want to buy shit, too.
It's all your fault.
I tell my Husby that.
He doesn't believe me.
He says I have control over what I do...
but when it's as easy as entering some info and pressing a button...
GAH!
Why do they make it so easy???
They should make it more like a divorce.
That shit is expensive.
Trust me I work for attorney's...
I KNOW.
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Girls that were evil in high school.
Suck my lady ballzzzzzz.
I have an amazing Husby and three beautiful children...
What do you have other than a stretched out Vah Jay Jay???
Hmmmm????
Karma will ALWAYS bite you in da assss.
Promise.
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My new resolution that goes with my random numero uno...

Anybody wanna take a gander at how long that lasts????
Dare ya!
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Anybody else think that these are the most fucking ridonkulous things eva made?
Nene your still my home gurlllllllllllllll.
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Oh and I have been asked to do a Q&A Vlog style so you still have the opportunity to ask me some questions.
Nothing is out the question around these parts...
Okay well maybe some things but y'all know I am about as honest as they come!
HAHA.
I so need a reality show...
 
 
PS I am supposed to do my weekly weigh in tomorrow.
FUCK.
I guarantee you I put on about ten pounds.
Between the vanilla icing last night and the pizza I ate for lunch.
I am just a walking/talking hypocrite at the moment.
Hopefully I can get my shit together.
Say a prayer for me?
 
In the meantime I am going home to pack...
...and I am sure most of you are like shut the fuck up you have told us 2834029 times today what your going to do tonight.
I'm also going to drink.
A lot.
My motto for the day:
 
Your welcome for the most random post I have eva done.

14 comments:

  1. I love every bit of your random shit chica!!!

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  2. I bet you look sassy today and that you are wearing sassy pants!!!

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  3. This is too funny. Good to know you love the Real Housewives as much as I do!

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  4. What is the purpose of the phone thing?? I don't understand! haha!

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  5. I would totally watch your reality show! You crack me up!

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  6. Thanks for the laugh! I needed it today! Those clips or whatever the hell you call them are hilarious!

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  7. I love Mob Wives and the hubs watches it with me lol Big Ang is hilarious! I laughed so hard about the High School mean girls reminds me of the Mean Girls song lol! I have a mean girl neighbor who lives right across the street from our hizzy and she is off the chain mean to everyone just like she was in High School thank goodness we didn't go to High School together lol she is just a hot mess....funny because she is so ridiculously crazy. I don't understand the phone thing either. Your post is the most random you have ever done but it is also really funny!

    xoxo

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  8. I've often thought I could rock my own reality show ;)

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  9. Ok, i will just tell you here in public that i bought the retro phone to use with my iphone. It's not all bedazzled like Nene's above though. I use it around the house because it helps from my face pushing buttons all the time. Go ahead and make fun. I can take it! :)
    You crack me up!

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  10. shit, i want to sit and pack and drink wine with you. instead I am freakin watching unseen moments of real housewives of skank-ami, i mean miami and finishing off a bottle of wine.

    btw, said wine is unopened.
    meow. have fun packing.

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  11. Giggled my was through this entire post. Nailed it!

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  12. There is a lot going on here and I don't know where to start so I'll just say..enjoy your booze!!

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