Friday, March 22, 2013

Fat to Fit: What NOT to do!

HEY DOLLFACES!
So glad you are here as this is the very FIRST Fat to Fit Friday link-up!
I sure hope that y'all will come join in and link up with Jenna, Lori, and myself.
We're just 3 ladies looking to lose those extra unwanted pounds.
There's times when we need extra motivation to get moving and start sweating.
Are you looking for motivation yourself?
Do you need an accountability partner?
Do you have any healthy recipes you'd like to share?
You came to the right place looking for it.
Join us in this fun link up on becoming "Fat to Fit" each Friday!




If you'd like to join in on this fun link up, check out the super simple 'rules' below and get to writing!
Can't wait to see all the new link ups this week, meet new friends and read y'all's posts!
1. Write your own post about how you stay motivated, healthy recipes, up & downs.
2. Please follow Jenna, Lori & Marcy.
3. Put the new button on your post or somewhere on your blog
4. Link up with us! (Link will appear on all three blogs.)
5. Visit some of the other links and share the love with them on their posts!
6. Spread the word on Twitter and/or Facebook
I figured for the first edition of Fat to Fit I would talk about what you SHOULDN'T do in order to achieve your weight loss goals and healthy lifestyle...
I have mentioned it before in passing but I am serious when I say that I have thought I was fat since I popped out of my Mother's lady bits.
No, I am NOT kidding.
Maybe it was the innocent teasing from family members I am not really sure?
And to them yes, it WAS innocent, but to me it hurt.
Pig lips and hog jaws were upon many of their favorite terms.
My parents divorced when I was three and that just causes a whole other load of issues for a child.
Any child.
I remember sitting in Kindergarten, YES KINDERGARTEN, staring down at my legs and thinking to myself, "God, why did you make my legs so fat?"

I hated wearing my leotard and tights...  I felt HUGE... 
Even then I was thinking about dieting.
I was wondering how I could make my legs thinner, my cheeks less like chipmunks, and my belly flatter.
Even going as far as wanting to make my lips smaller...
At five years old y'all.
I remember one day I was sitting at my Granny and Pawpaw's house around the age of 7 and thought to myself I am not going to eat ALL day long.
I will surely lose some weight.
Sure I didn't eat all day but the next day I had seven pieces of toast with butter slapped on thicker than Mama June's third chin.
I would binge eat and then not eat for a day and this lasted for a while.
I always saw myself as fat.
Every.single.day.
Then you get into the teenage years and shit just sucks.
Everything was about image.
I mean EVERYTHING.
I wish I still had those size 8 Tommy Hilfagger jeans that I had worn during my high school days.
If I could, I would totally sucker punch my teenage self in the throat.
I was mean to myself.
Horrible actually.
All my friends were prettier...
Their hair was long and beautiful, their teeth were whiter, their boobs were bigger, and their asses were much MUCH smaller.
These girls looked like they should be in their twenties and I was all over here like "hey I am just trying to be 16."
Lori was brave enough to share her story yesterday on Mama Laughlin's page and I figured that I would share with you some of my story today.
Lori, I am sure I am not the only one, but you touched my heart yesterday.
You hit me right at my core.
And Mama Laugh you did, too with your story from the beginning of the week.
It was around the age of 15 that I started really getting crazy about my weight.
I mean I had always thought about it but it was really starting to get to me.
I have ALWAYS ate my feelings and it is something I still struggle with to this day.
I remember being so upset from a comment that somebody had made to me at school one day that I went home and researched how to be anorexic.
I wanted to not eat to lose.
These girls looked pretty to me...
I loved food.
I hated myself for that.
So I starved myself.
Before Junior Prom I remember that I borrowed my best friends sisters dress.
I couldn't even get it to zip but I didn't tell anybody that.
I said it fit and I wanted to wear it.
I LOVED the dress and I was determined.
It was really close to fitting so all I would have needed to do was eat healthier, drink more water, and exercise a bit.
The weight would have came right off.
Instead I starved myself for three weeks prior to prom.
I didn't eat at all.
The only thing I had in those three weeks is one hamburger patty, a bag of fruit snacks, and I think a handful of peanuts.
I'm not kidding.
I don't know how I didn't end up in the hospital.
I just made sure I drank a lot of water.
And sure the weight came off.
So much so that the dress actually ended up being too big and we had to rig it for me to fit into it without it falling off of me.
Sure I looked good but I think people knew in the back of their minds what I was doing.
I had several people that were concerned about me but I shrugged it off.
I mean of course I still didn't look as good as everybody else in their dresses.
And after the dance was over I ate.
I ate a TON.
This cycle went on for several months and especially before a big event.
My senior dinner dance was probably the worst.
People were actually scared for me.
I was so tiny.
I look at pictures and want to gouge my eyes out because I was so thin.
Too thin.
Yet all I could do was compare myself to others and see myself as a fat person.
I was very sick.
This all changed one summer after I got out of high school when I started working at Walgreen's.
I remember just binging on all kinds of snacks because they were 1. convenient and 2. good, duh.
I would also have a before work treat with my then friend Natalie.
She worked at Walgreen's, too and would come over after she got out of hair school and we would eat Ramen Noodles together.
Most days a couple of packs each.
I packed on the pounds and I packed them on quickly.
After I left Walgreen's and before I met my first Husband I got crazy with my weight again.
I was depressed but this time instead of eating my feelings I was doing the opposite.
I decided that I still liked food too much so I researched how to be bulimic.
I did what Lori did.
I research not only how to be a bulimic but how to be the BEST bulimic.
I felt like I was on top of the world.
Like her I had control of my life.
When in all reality I was actually completely out of control.
I would weigh myself a bazillion times a day and if I hadn't lost any weight and even if I hadn't eating I would make myself throw up whatever was left in me at the time.
It was bad.
Then I met my first husband and I got comfortable and lazy.
Very lazy.
I was never happy with him.
He was more like a brother to me and I just settled.
I got pregnant and gained over 100 pounds with Shelby.
Not only did I eat bad but I blew up like a blow fish because I had severe toxemia.
It took me a LONG time, months actually, to lose the pounds from Shelby.
I finally had a friend that encouraged me to go to the gym and eat better.
I did.
I lost.
It felt amazing.
I actually ended up winning two rounds of The Biggest Loser at my place of employment.
Then we separated and I quit caring.
I drank.
I drank a lot.
I wasn't spending much time with my daughter and I didn't care about anybody, especially myself.
I ate for comfort.
Then in January of 2009 I met my Husband.
Life was good.
When we met I weighed more than I do now.
He loved me then.
He has always seen the best in me even if I couldn't.
I got comfortable and I remember at the end of December 2010 I weighed myself and all I could do was cry.
The scale read back 201 pounds.
I freaked to say the least.
I was getting married that April and this couldn't be possible right?
Oh did I mention my dress had already been purchased and I needed that dress to fit considering when I bought it the previous April I was thirty pounds lighter.
I called on my health nut friend Jess and asked her what I should do.
Obviously exercise and I had no excuse not to considering that the apartments we lived in at the time offered a free gym.
Also she introduced me to a diet plan that I felt I could do.
It worked.
I lost weight and I lost weight quickly.
Will I do it again?
No.
Do I think it's a bad diet to do?
No, it's just not for me.
You can go here to read more about it.
Then in the middle of March I started feeling really bad.
I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I was having a heart attack.
It was the WORST indigestion pain I have ever had x1000 percent.
It was horrible.
I finally went to the doctor and after some blood work and an ultra sound we discovered that I had a very sick gull bladder.
I shouldn't be surprised considering all the women in my Mom's side of the family have had theirs removed.
Once it was removed I ended up losing some more weight and by my wedding I weighed in at 164.
I felt on top of the world once again.
I will also mention that I was actually eating really healthy during this time.
Then we went on our honeymoon and I just went nuts.
Literally.
I ate everything once again.
...and it didn't stop once we came home.
When I got pregnant with P in October of 2011 I was back up to 180 and when I delivered her on July 25th of this past year I was a whopping 265 pounds.
WHOOF.
I was thinking about ridding myself of this weight before P was even born.
BUT...
I was NOT going to do it any other way than the healthy way.
I watched my caloric intake and drank a shit ton of water.
I joke but I also drank.
Oh my after nine months without a beer or glass of wine...
It was heavenly and the weight just melted off.
I even lost weight during the holiday season this past year.
That has NEVER happened and I mean it but dammit I was determined.
Then January hit.
And I have been stuck hanging out in the 160's ever since.
I did hit The 100 Pounds Lost Mark in February but I have just been hanging out ever since.
I will gain a few and lose a few.
One thing I haven't done is give up.
I am killing it in the gym.
Literally I walk out of there and sweat is just a' pourin!
I do need to up my strength exercises though!
I am watching what I eat and sometimes even I still slip.
We all have our days and we all have our struggles.
Nobody is perfect.
Another reason I wanted to share all of this with you.
I can promise you though that eating and exercising and making yourself healthy the right way is so much more rewarding than starving yourself or making yourself throw up.
I refer to Dory from Finding Nemo every time I come across a bump in my road...
"Just keep swimming."
Every minute is a brand new minute.
Don't wait for tomorrow.
Just start right now.
My Husband just looks at me in blank stares a lot of the time when I am down on myself.
He cannot believe I can't see what he does.
He loves me at my best, he loves me at my worst, he even loves my stretch marks.
He thinks they are beautiful and to him they really are.
He actually just told me today after I told him I wanted to Skinny Meg my hair that he prefers me in a baseball cap, ponty tail pulled through the back, and a pair of overalls on...
Simple and basic.
Nothing fancy.
Just recently did I admit that I am really starting to love myself and actually be proud of my accomplishments and how far I have come.
What he doesn't realize is that I have to see myself in a positive light before I can realize that anybody else does.
It isn't about him.
I have no doubt in my mind that he would love me at the weight I am now or thirty pounds heavier like when we first met.
It's not about others.
In all reality it's just about ourselves.
Feeling great and loving yourself is the most powerful thing I have ever experienced.
Do I still have my days where I am hating on everything?
Yes, I do.
If I didn't I don't think I would be normal.
I never will promise you that it will be easy I just promise you it WILL be worth it my friends.

Here is to hoping that this will be a place for you all to come and feel like you can share and support.
A place for motivation, a place to vent...

23 comments:

  1. Absolutely beautiful post!!! You are such an inspiration and the real frisking deal!!! This is why we love you and look to you for modivation!! Thank you, my awesome friend!!! I love you!! And.... I am so very proud of you!'n

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  2. Thank you so much for sharing Marcy! I'm glad you're beginning to love yourself because you are an amazing person. I think loving yourself is one of the hardest parts about this journey. I personally feel conceited, self absorbed or something when I feel proud of how far I've come too but now I'm starting to be like screw it - I worked hard. YOU LOST 100 POUNDS! That's incredible. You're an inspiration to so many of us every day. I'm proud of you!

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  3. LOVE this! I have 160 pounds to lose and will be linking up! <3

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  4. Hey pretty lady! Thank you for sharing all of this today! I have been stuck for a while now as well so this was a great inspiration!

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  5. Love you girl!!! Thank you for your bravery for sharing your story. It's hard and it hurts but I think we have to accept our past to move forward! There are so many of us that have had the simular issues with food and although it sucks it's great that we can be open and honest and lean on each other for support. Thank you thank you!!! And can I just say families comments sometimes just friggen suck. Gaaa. Lol

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  6. Love youuu!!! You're soo amazing and inspiring. I was anorexic in high school so it's hard to see me at the weight/size I am now. Even after high school I was a stead size 7 or 9/130lbs until about 3 years ago. And ever since then I've been struggling.

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  7. This post was emotional for me to read, so glad you decided to share your journey with all of us. You are such an inspiration. You have done an amazing job and are still doing an amazing job! Get it girl!! xoxo

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  8. I love you and Lori and Brandy. Brave ladies. :) I'm going to post my story today as well. Eek. Scary stuff.

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  9. I just love you and your raw-ness! So proud of all your accomplishments. I'm trying to hit Onederland myself.. and I know I'll get there... "Just keep swimming"... =)

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  10. Oh, to be able to go back and knock some sense into our high school selves! This was very brave of you to post as I'm sure it wasn't easy to go through either. I'm so glad that you have been losing weight the healthy way since you had Diddy and you look amazing!

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  11. Wonderful wonderful post. You have come through hell and back. Makes me so sad that you beat yourself up so badly because you are so beautiful and freaking HILARIOUS!

    BTW- I always love your gifs!

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  12. Such a great post, lady! Very inspiring. You look amazzzing!

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  13. This was an awesome post. I too always felt the same way as a very young kid, and also had the same teasing from my family, still do actually! I went annorexic one summer, it wasn't really on purpose...at first, but I started eating again and got even fatter! Thank you for this post! I feel ya girl!!

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  14. First off, I love the pic on the bottom left. So beautiful. And secondly, I just want to say that this was a very heartfelt and touching post. I cannot relate to the mania of weight obsession (that God, I didn't really deal with that) but I know the struggle in many other ways. It always comes back to self worth. Tear. =(

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  15. I'm soooo glad I found your blog..... and your instagram...... and you fb (stalker much?)!
    Your struggles mirror mine and its so nice to read about someone else feeling the same!
    Keep it up guuuuurl!

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  16. What an AWESOME post!! I am just stunned by your success!! You look friggin amazing lady!! So cute in your work out clothes!! I can't wait to get to my goal weight and buy some new work out clothes! You go girl with your work outs!! Beastmode!! I will be right there with you!
    Brooklyn- browneyedgem.com

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  17. You go girl! YOU are awesome, keep up the amazing work! (:

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  18. You are AMAZING!!! You are such an INSPIRATION, Marcy!! Keep it up, you skinny MILF!

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  19. You are so awesome! This story really makes me feel like I know you and your journey so much better. Seeing your photos killing it at the gym everyday is so inspiring - keep doing what you're doing!

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  20. What a great post Marcy!! You rock!! And you were such a CUTE little girl!!

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  21. I love this post!! I felt like you were writing my story, I have done so many similar things. Thanks for sharing.

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  22. Missed the link up this week because I was on vacation. But I will be posting next friday. One of thr reasons I love you is because you keep shit real. I was so sad for your story. Thanks for sharing and also for this awesome linkup

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  23. what a wonderful post. i commend you for being so brave and posting your story here to inspire others.

    KEEP IT UP!! it never gets easier but you just get better!

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