Friday, March 8, 2013

A part of me...

{forwarning that this may possibly make you shed a few tears which isn't typical around these parts}
 
This is for all of my readers.
 
Specifically the ones who don't already follow me on Instagram, etc.
 
I know I have already posted once today but felt this was necessary to share.
 
And ESPECIALLY for all my readers that are jumping on the health wagon and trying to better themselves physically, etc.
 
 
Something happened to me on what I typically refer to as the deathmill today.  Although today, today I will refer to it as the lovemill.  I do.  I love it.  I NEVER thought in a million years I would LOVE to run but I do.  It was only because I used to be the girl that simply would give up to soon.  I have said it before but I will say it again...  I started running merely a month ago.  I could barely do .5 miles without feeling like I was going to die.  Seriously y'all...  I thought getting to a mile was something I may never see.  Each and everyday I continue to surprise the hell out of myself.  I am actually sticking with it.  I feel incredible for the first time in far too long...  Honestly I don't know if I have EVER in my 27 years felt THIS good.  ...and sadly I amNOT kidding.  Today I managed to do an entire 5k without stopping.  Something happened to me about minute 20...  I want to say I was almost at two miles.  Stephanie had suggested Katy Perry's station on Pandora and I am glad she did.  It was then that Katy's Perry's song "Part Of Me" came on and something just clicked.  Y'all I cried and I smiled and for the first time I was just so damn proud of myself.  I have said it before but this time I really honestly mean it.  The following lyrics really struck a chord... 
"Now look at me,
This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me,
noT
his is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me,
 Throw your sticks and your stones,
Throw your bombs and your blows,
But you're not gonna break my soul.
This is the part of me
That you're never gonna ever take away from me, no! 
Now look at me I'm sparkling,
A firework,
a dancin' flame
You won't ever put me out again
I'm glowin', oh woah..."
 It was like she was singing that song specifically for me. 
Not only am I proud of myself I am FINALLY, after never have ever doing so, officially loving myself.  Don't get me wrong I have always loved the person I was.  Meaning I know I am funny, and loving, and would give you the shirt off my back even if I didn't have a shirt to replace it with...  but I have never really LOVED myself.  On my wedding day...  I didn't even feel like I looked that good.  I was CONSTANTLYcomparing myself to everybody else.  A bride should NEVER have to do that.  In kindergarten I would sit and stare at my legs and wonder why MINE were so much fatter than all the other girls.  I have NEVER loved my body...  especially after popping two chitlins out of my lady bits... 
Today, today I can honestly say that I love my body.  It may not be exactly where I want it to be but goodness I have a good ass, curves, etc... 
We are all beautiful in our own way. 
My Husband was telling me the other night that he just is in love with my body and the way that I look, thinks I am sexy, and he just really can't understand all of this.  He thinks I am perfect just the way I am.  I know that I am beyond lucky to be with a man that really is in love with every inch of me however it has nothing to do with him.  It's all the way about how we feel of ourselves...  So I didn't stop.  Not once until I managed to hit 3.1 miles did I even begin to think of slowing down... I am excited about the future and the person I am becoming.  It really is life changing to finally love yourself.  I don't just love a "part of me" I love
"ALL OF ME!"
 
Who managed to do a 5k without stopping today????
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31 comments:

  1. Marcy! That is amazing! congrats on completely a 5k! Now you know you can do the beer run!

    You are gorgeous no matter what! Love you Marcy!

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  2. Ohhh Runner's High- it only gets better and better from here lady! Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Im so proud of you!! That is seriously an awesome accomplishment. Keep goin!! Were rootin for ya! :)

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  4. I'm doing a C25K program and I have such a hard time just running for 5 minutes at a time. I keep pushing myself because I know that's the only way I'll get to where I want to be, but it is sometimes soooo discouraging. I needed this today. Thank you!

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  5. This is so awesome! New follower!

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  6. Marcy I am so damn proud of you and happy for you!

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  7. This is so awesome! :) Go girl!

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  8. You go girl!!! I remember when I ran my first 5K and the overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and love. Keep it up, Marcy!!!

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  9. SO PROUD OF MY SIDE CHICK!!!...I JUST STARTED RUNNING AGAIN ALSO, IM STILL AT THE HATE STAGE CAN'T WAIT TO GET WHERE U ARE:)

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  10. You are incredible :) So proud of you lady :) Good job!!

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  11. So proud of you! Great job!

    And I now need to add that station to my Pandora!

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  12. Congratulations on the 5k today! I can run for about 30 seconds and then I'm dying and my ankles/shins are killing me...so I walk 2.25 miles in 50 minutes, sometimes a little more and I get over the fact that I can't run. It is a goal though...to be able to run...I miss running (I was a sprinter, never a long distance girl).

    I'm looking forward to reading you more often :) I think you're going to be an awesome inspiration for me.

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  13. So excited for you. It must feel awesome!!!

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  14. I'm a new reader...and I just absolutely love this post. Last night when I was silently cursing Jillian Michaels for being such a twat, the song "hard" Rihanna came on...so I powered through. Crazy what music can do, huh?

    :)

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  15. Awesome!!! Love this post!! You have so much to be proud of!

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  16. How awesome! You are such an inspiration to so many Marcy!!!

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  17. Love this post! So inspiring, girl! You give me hope =)

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  18. You are doing amazing!! I am so happy for you! I need to get my butt in gear like you and start loving myself. This really struck a chord with me because I don't love myself at all. All I see is fat when I look at myself.

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  19. So proud of you pretty!! CONGRATS!!!!


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  20. That is seriously amazing (both the 5k and your mindset) -- you should be extremely proud of yourself! I can't wait to get to where you are. :)

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  21. You are so awesome! I have never liked running and started the Couch to 5K last week, I know when I can finish a 5k it will be a great feeling. You should be so proud of yourself! You motivate and inspire so many people and I don't think you even realize it! I hope you have a wonderful weekend! :)

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  22. You are amazing!I am so proud of you!

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  23. WOOHOO!!! I remember the feeling after finishing my first 5k. Such a great accomplishment!!!

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  24. You go girl!!!! You really are so inspiring!

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  25. Proud of you!!! You're awesome and this is such an inspiring post :)

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