Thursday, July 11, 2013

Big Pimpn' Spending the G's...


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I am always the one who says...
I need to win the lottery, if I could just remember to play it!
Guys truth be told I wouldn't even know how to play the damn numbers.
Like I don't even know what to say?
Do I just go in and say I want these numbers.
Apparently you can order them in a box or something like that as well?
I have only done it once and I told them to just surprise me.
The guy looked at me like I had five heads and asked if I had been drinking.
No...
I am just a natural blond!

Anyways...
My girls Holly and Kristie are doing a link-up to find out what everybody would do with their winnings if they ever won the lottery...
 
First thing I would do is quit my job DUH.
Don't act like you wouldn't either...
And I would give some money to a few of my co-workers that deserve it and I like so they could quit, too.
How fun.
 
Then I would get $10,000.00 in one dollar bills and do snow angels in it for hours in the middle of my living room floor.
 
Then I would hide from every mutha fucka who wanted to get their hands on my money by taking my Husband and my kids to the islands for a month or more...
{I won't disclose the island because DUH I don't want anybody to know where I am!}
 
When we came back I would hand out my monies to people that needed it in my life.
Family and friends you get the drift...
 
I would take some serious stock in Michy Ultra and having a huge ass fridge in my over-sized garage with nothing but...
MICHY ULTRA.
 
My kids would be dressed to the nines and if they got dirty they would just change into a new outfit and throw the old one away.
 
I would hire a personal chef and trainer to keep my ass in shape and get me Hollywood status faster than you can say, "Hollywood status."
 
I would get extensions.  Seems lame but I hate my hair short and I don't have the dolla dolla bills to do it in real life.
I would look like Rapunzel.
 
Honestly to be truthful this is all crazy.
I cannot phathom what I would do if I won.
Knowing my luck none of these things would happen because I would die of a heart attack upon receiving the news that I actually did win.


Errryyybody sing it with meh now!
THE END.
 







10 comments:

  1. oh i wish i had some money so i could spend some cheese. i would go crazy. first things first, quit the old job.

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  2. If I win the lottery, I am buying me and YOU, an island. It will be a magical island where we can eat and drink anything we want, without gaining an ounce! Oh and we won't age either! :)

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  3. I have a serious love affair with Mich Ultra too. It started with Bud Light but pushing 40 has made me switch. Although I don't really think 10 less calories matters much when you consume as much as I do :)

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  4. You are hilarious, I love that you would buy new outfits for your kids if they get dirty b/c that's the main reason I don't shop at Gap for them, the nice clothes just get ruined! Girl, you can buy a "Power Play" for $7 and they print out 4 tickets for you with lots of chances to win, that way you don't have to tell them anything besides "power play".

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  5. I love the throw the clothes away idea... I would also do that with dishes. I HATE laundry and washing dishes. With a passion.

    Also, are you still selling Mary Kay? I am needing some stuffs..

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  6. I thought the picture was the best part... but the snow angels made me LOL

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  7. I love that you added the song! I'm busting out my best booty popping moves right now, in my bed, because I'm cool. Oh, and I totally feel ya on the chef and trainer!

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  8. I totally agree with you on playing the lottery. I always get nervous... Am I doing it right? Not sure, but I know that I will probably never win, because I play maybe once or twice a year.

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