Thursday, December 6, 2012

Seriously serious seriousness...

Typically this blog is filled with my obsession for GIFS, pictures of my family and friends, a whole lotta' snarky snark and rarely ever anything serious.
I like funny and sassy and cursing.
Which I need to stop.

I am about to do something that I have NEVA done before.

Heading into the land of holyshizwhatamiabouttofuckingdo...

I was reading a IRL MILF's Blog {heh she will like that but it's true... bitchn' about all 143.8/not to exclude that .8 self of hers}
Any who she had me at, "Which is why I am so glad that Courtney started a Diet Bet. Basically, everyone throws in $20... and whoever can lose 4% of their body weight in 4 weeks splits the pot. When I joined, there was only $40 in the pot-- just Courtney and I.

Now there is over $4000 in the kitty...."

Money...  Did you say money???
And over $4000.00 worth.
Mama needs some monies, too.
Plus I really AM serious when I say this...
I have NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, lost weight during the holiday season.
Like ever.
{insert Taylor Swift singing voice}

So I jumped on the wagon.
It didn't take much convincing because Hawtie Holly and I already decided, which by we I mean me, that with our winnings we are hooking up and having cheap beers and getting white girl wasted.
The white girl wasted idea was my idea as well.
I didn't think so...

Basically I am a day late and a dollar short.
I have a dollar, actually I have twenty dollars, but that's neither here nor there and dammit I am digressing.
Yesterday was weigh-in day which I did at 10:00 PM last night after having a half bottle of wine straight out of the bottle.
Do NOT judge me mmmmmmk?

So here goes nuffn'...
The only reason I have a smile on my face is from that warm fuzzy feeling due to that half bottle of wine...
Just wanted to throw that out there because it surely wasn't the number staring back at me.
My scale I tell ya'...  She can be such a bitch at times.

Damn you Kangaroo pouch.

And my starting weight is...
No, you are not seeing things, that is a mustache covering each one of my chipped toes.
I think I have had this polish on for iono like two months now...
You know what I will be doing tonight!
I just keep telling myself...

So anyways there you have it.
I will be trading the box in for Bud Select 55, my Kroger Cookies in for Brussels sprouts, and my GoGo Juice in for water.
I only have to lose 7 pounds in the next 27 days but I am shooting for 10 because I pretty much have the mentality of go big, or go home.
And ask my Husby...  I am in fact the worst sore loser around these parts.
I despise losing.
Therefore I will most likely do whatever it takes become anorexic for like a week to win me some monies.
So if your looking for me in the next 27 days I will most likely be somewhere doing this...
More like this...
I start 9 weeks of Boot Camp tonight. FML.
Me post-Thanksgiving.

So when this weight loss challenge gets over...

And ALWAYS memba' vajiggle jaggle is not beautimous people...

#operationMILFandbeerswithhawtieholly is in full swing muh frannnns!

*Side note:  Totally kidding about the anorexic part.  Shit my ass couldn't do that even if I wanted to*


  1. I love you. You're freaking hilarious. and I'm so glad you're doing this Dietbet!! WOOT for rollin in the dough with less muffin top.

  2. $4000?!? Damn! Maybe I need to get in on this shit STAT!

    Good luck girl!

  3. HAHA Love this! Good luck I am sure you will rock it!!

  4. $4000!!! Holy shizz. My stupid competition was only worth $200. GRRR

    Anyhoo... GOOD LUCK!!!!!! Kick some ass.

  5. Love reading your blog - your videos crack me right up ... thanks for the laughs!! =)

  6. OMG I am DYING at the GIFs. Seriously. Especially the Honey Boo Boo ones. I love Mama - Sex Miss Mama, ahahaha.

    In all seriousness, you can do this girl! I'm rooting for ya!

  7. Love, love, LOVE this. Get that MILF status bitch! I'd do ya, so you're already there in my book, but I know what you mean about getting your sexy back. If you and Miss Holly get together, holla at'cha girl because I love me some Marcy and some Holly. Look at me just inviting myself along. :)

  8. New reader! And let me just say I freakin love your blog. Don't stop using the gifs, like ever! You got this lady. Win, win, win!

  9. Good luck, you will do great! The Honey Boo Boo gifs are cracking me up!! Too funny!

  10. For real you are freaking hilarious! I will be coming back to this post a lot to get my daily laugh! I am aiming for 10 pounds also this month. We gotta stay away from those chicken nuggets!

  11. seriously make me piss my pants from laughing!!!!! Good Luck with the challenge!!! I'm sure you'll kiss some ass!!!! :)