Friday, December 28, 2012

A bunch of shit, followed up with some shit, and a little more shit on the side...

Oh hey there!
If your new around these here parts well then pull yourself on up, have a seat because if your anything like me Friday's are my lazy day, and just fucking relax.
I need a drink.
I sure do...
And it's not even noon yet.
Ya'll feel me?
I swear I am going to invent a keg for underneathe my desk...
Word to your Motha'.
Oh and if you are wondering...
 I didn't get any packing done last night.
It all started with a leetle call from the Husby.
He may, or may not be, on my shit list at this very second.
I am sure I will be over it in a few minutes...
I know I am such a hard ass!
Anyways, back to the call, it went a lil' something like this...
Me:  Hello...
Husby:  Ya', your dog shat everywhere, Lauren let him out of his cage, and then he pissed by the front door.
Me:  Okay
Husby:  Well I ain't cleaning it up!
Me:  Alright I will do it when I get home...
It was only 4:30 meaning that shit would NOT get picked up until like 6:00PM or later...
And then to think that I have to come home to that...
Really Husby?
So ya I get home and have to clean up dog vom and dog shit.
Then ya know I am spinning around in circles tending to chitlins, laundry, and anything else that needs to be done while Husby "relaxes."
And ya'll wonder why I wear my crazy pants 97.9% of the time?!
Okay, Okay, I am not THAT crazy...
I do still love him though...
I wish that I had the ability to relax, breathe, and just let shit go.
But no...
Thanks to my sweet Father I was born with ADHD/OCD/ANALRETENTIVENESS.
God help me that I make it through the next couple of weeks with the move and everything else that is going on.
You feel me?????
Then this morning I was getting ready and Husby and I had another lil' conversation...
Husby: Why you curling your hair? Gotta boyfriend on the side?
Me: Nope... just got up when my alarm went off.
Husby: Well why such the big poof? Its awfully high dontcha think??
Me: You are asking me way too many questions before 6AM but if you must know I like to be as close as possible to lil bebe Jesus...

That man...
I tell ya' what.
Ya' just gotta love him.
I wanna introduce you to two of my new sponsors.
I know right????
She is perdy and sweet and the truest version of a lil' country mid-western gal!
And the amazing lil' miss
Gurrrllllfrannn is so funny and so nice and still loves me even though as she calls it, "I walk to the beat of my own drum."
Show my new homies some lovin's mmmmmmk?
And if you wanna sponsor this lil' slice of the interwebz for less than $10.00 a month for 60 days worth of straight pimpn' then shoot me an email @ themrsburris{at}yahoo{dot}com!!!
Yes, you read that right, less then 10 smacks!
I must be fucking cray to the zay.
And in the meantime...


  1. Muah!! You are my mustache friend! Mustaches unite! Did you know that there is a mustache font? I think of you when I scroll past it:D

  2. I've actually been thinking of putting a mini-fridge under my desk...but then I'd probably get too drunk to drive home after work.
    Penniless Socialite

  3. LMAO as close to lil bebe Jesus as possible. I love it.

  4. I'm on team the higher the hair, the closer to god. But team leggings as pants is KILLING me. Mostly because of see through leggings.


    Too much Jersey Shore before noon?

  5. Hahaha. Love you more each day. I have never jumped on the sponsor wagon but I just might have to give that a go soon.

  6. Ha! You are a good one! Things would have been flying and my husband come the second time he started acting cray! Your gifs are amazing!

  7. Girl, I wish I could wake up before my alarm and look as hot as you! I roll outta bed lookin' a hot mess every single day. And #curseofthekangaroopouch made me DIE. That's perfect, and I feel like it's the hashtag I've been missing all my life!!!

  8. bwhahahahahahaha yes I am laughing so hard I nearly pee'd myself which is easy right now with the no muscle strength trying to hold off the hospital meds til after the new year shat an here ya have me bout pissn' myself lol! Okay so when I read this on FB last night I was laughing so hard, not at you but at the fact that he was like nope not cleaning it and I fo sho thought he would and he didn't what in the world was that shat hard and smelly by the time you got to it and your added affect of Lauren Conrad and Spiedi I mean Heidi lol Do you know why I'm mad at you? bit which is hilarious every single time I watch it made this that much funnier! I think you look so gorgeous today girl! Tell him you are rockin' the poof for you Snooks whos arms hurt to bad at the moment to make a poof so high you can talk to baby Jesus lol and while it's up there tell him I'm sorry for all the eff bombs you make me let loose lol! Okay so Ron is hilarious and I so wish I could bring on the drinking with ya but I know 2013 is wrapped in a big R bow and with remission comes endless booze lol! That is genius keg under desk pure genius I'd buy one ha and I don't even work Im a stay at home momma lol! This post is killing me the housewives bit needing a new drink bwhahahahahahahaha so funny I will have to check out the ladies who are sponsoring you and stuff and when you get a chance hop over and check out the gift I got Kelcee but get your tissues ready just saying! Love you

  9. HAHAHAHAHA. I love that you ended it with Ron Ron!!

  10. I'm cracking up at your convos with your husband :-P I don't blame you for being super pissed that he left the dog mess for you to clean up. Men......they can be so useless sometimes and so damn infuriating, but we still love them lol :)

    Have a great weekend and thanks for starting my Friday with a bunch of laughs!! :-D

  11. why are you just so smart?!haha love this post. and yes, always keep on drinking.

  12. Hell yeah, the closest way to heaven is that poof, I'm all about it too my friend! Cheers to the weekend!

  13. haha gotta be close to the heaven as you can be :) shorter trip that way!! Ronny just made my day... haha

  14. HAHA that is too good!! Love it! Keep drinking!

  15. HAHA Love it all. The LC gif is hysterical. It brought me back 5 or has it been 10 years? Idk, I was probably drunkski.

  16. Ohhh man The Hills gifs get me EVERYTIME!

  17. I love Romona, definitely my favorite part of this whole post!

    Sparkles and Shoes
    500 Follower Kate Spade Giveaway

  18. bahaha I swear your post always crack me up always! I live for them I swear! I just love you :)

  19. OMG. I just found my new best friend. You are fucking awesome! Your foul mouth... your ocd.... ALL OF IT! Definitely following you! I also have another blogger that needs to come to your blog! :)