Wednesday, June 19, 2013

What do I fear?



Pretty Strong Medicine

We all know I am in a major funkidy funk funk right now.
It's no secret.
Y'all know I just cannot stomach the thought of sugar coating anything on this here blog.
I will not ever lie to you.
Ever.
I feel like I have been in this funk for far too long and I am actively working on trying to fix it.
First and foremost I wanted you to know that.

One thing that always helps me when I am stuck in a rut is to compare.
Where was I this time last year?
I had been stuck on bed rest for far too long.
I was bored so I ate.
I was basically 265 pounds of pure misery.

I literally started eating better the day I delivered P.
I was defuckingtermined to rid myself of this weight once and for all.
My mind was made up and that was that.

It's so funny looking back at pictures and realizing how I actually looked compared to how I saw myself at the time.
If you follow me on IG then you have already seen this picture but I posted another comparison picture last night.
I have been in a rut and I needed to bitch slap myself in the face.
Make myself realize that I have come too far to give up now.

The picture on the Left is from August.
We were on our way to Jason Aldean and I was about a month post partum.
The smile was fake for so many reasons on this night.
I did NOT feel comfortable but I decided to drowned my sorrows with Bud Light Draft because that's the smart thing to do right???
The picture on the Right was from this past Friday night on our way to Toby.
Roughly about a 45 pound difference.
45 pounds in 10 months isn't too shabby but I know I could have done better.
Still to see the change helps.

The stresses of everyday life have really been getting to me lately.
I am doing what I can to eliminate that though and get myself back to where I want to be.
Happy and healthy.

Today I started my day with two full bottles of water.
I've had my coffee and my low sugar oat meal.
I am tracking.
Going to the gym at lunch.
So far so good.

I don't know where my motivational self has gone?
She isn't lost I am just in the process of trying to find her again.
I do want this so badly.
It's easy as pie for me to kick somebody else's ass into gear but hard as hell to help myself.

Do I want to be skinny?
No...
I just want to be strong.
Most importantly happy.














14 comments:

  1. Hey Marcy - sorry to hear you're in a rut. I've been in one for the last couple weeks too. I think not being able to run is still really bothering me amongst other things. I'm able to do other exercises but it's just not the same. Have you tried making your own oatmeal instead of using the packets? I love the plain Quaker oats and then mixed with slivered almonds, cinnamon and drizzled with real maple syrup and then some berries or other fruit on the side. Just a suggestion = it's SO good. Here's to getting out of our ruts soon! Take care :)

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  2. Luv ya hon - keep your chin up!

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  3. You have come so far is such a short amount of time. This process is frustrating, time consuming and exhausting. All your hard work is worth it. Just keep going. YOU ARE STRONG and you will achieve your goals.

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  4. Hang in there! You look gorgeous in that white dress btw!

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  5. it never ends girl - there will never be a day when you say "whew- glad i'm done with losing weight, working out, and eating healthy!" there will always be new challenges - just take the bull by the horns and keep going!

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  6. I think we all get in a rut! You look amazing though! Side by side pics are the only way I can tell I lose weight. Just remember putting on the weight didn't happen over night and it (unfortunately) won't come off over night either. I struggle with this too! I've lost 15 pounds since April and while I should consider that a good accomplishment I'm wallowing in the fact that I still have 20 pounds to go. Just take it one day at a time it'll happen & don't beat yourself up when you feel like you fail. Just pick yourself back up and start again. We're human.,,it happens to the best of us ;)

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  7. um, you look AMAZING!! One of the reasons I love photo before and afters is because you can really see a difference, even when the scale doesn't show it. You are doing awesome! Keep with it. The only way to lose the diet battle is to quit. So don't quit!

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  8. You look amazing! Love that dress! Getting out of a rut is hard. Some times I think harder than starting. You can do it!

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  9. I need to do pictures so that I can feel better too. I'm going to have Arron take "new" before pictures of me this weekend. You have come a long way, girly! Be proud of yourself!

    P.S. That pregnancy "pop" photo is so cute! What a fun idea!

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  10. You look great and you ROCKED that dress :)
    We all get in the ruts, but you will come out of it - give it time.

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  11. Aw, I know how it feels, gurl! To lose all that motivation we once had! It's like, now that I'm at a respectable weight (180) I haven't been putting in the same effort like I did when I was 262. I so desperately want to be at my goal body fat (20%) but can't seem to stop sabotaging myself. Ugh, it's annoying, isn't it?

    We got this, though! we've done it once, we can do it again! Just gotta dig deep!

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  12. First, that dress is to die for! Love, love, love it!

    I've been in a rut lately, too. If this were easy, we wouldn't have gotten to where we were in the first place. Sometimes looking back at how far you've come - weight, inches, fitness goals - really puts things in perspective. You are capable of so much! You are strong and you'll get your mojo back :) Rooting for you!

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  13. Ruts happen. I go in them and out of them. Just remember that you ALWAYS come out and it feels amazing. You got this, girl!

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  14. Aww girlie I am so feeling you on this one. I have heard this a lot lately from people including myself. I was doing so well and have completely lost my mojo. I don't know what has happened but my eating and running habits have went to shit. I am trying to find that determination I had a month ago but it's hard. The weight is slowly creeping back up which disgusts me. Wish I had some magic words for you to help but I don't. We just have to take it one day at a time and sometimes even one meal at a time.

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