We all know I am in a major funkidy funk funk right now.
It's no secret.
Y'all know I just cannot stomach the thought of sugar coating anything on this here blog.
I will not ever lie to you.
I feel like I have been in this funk for far too long and I am actively working on trying to fix it.
First and foremost I wanted you to know that.
One thing that always helps me when I am stuck in a rut is to compare.
Where was I this time last year?
I was bored so I ate.
I was basically 265 pounds of pure misery.
I literally started eating better the day I delivered P.
I was defuckingtermined to rid myself of this weight once and for all.
My mind was made up and that was that.
It's so funny looking back at pictures and realizing how I actually looked compared to how I saw myself at the time.
If you follow me on IG then you have already seen this picture but I posted another comparison picture last night.
I have been in a rut and I needed to bitch slap myself in the face.
Make myself realize that I have come too far to give up now.
The picture on the Left is from August.
We were on our way to Jason Aldean and I was about a month post partum.
The smile was fake for so many reasons on this night.
I did NOT feel comfortable but I decided to drowned my sorrows with Bud Light Draft because that's the smart thing to do right???
The picture on the Right was from this past Friday night on our way to Toby.
Roughly about a 45 pound difference.
45 pounds in 10 months isn't too shabby but I know I could have done better.
Still to see the change helps.
The stresses of everyday life have really been getting to me lately.
I am doing what I can to eliminate that though and get myself back to where I want to be.
Happy and healthy.
Today I started my day with two full bottles of water.
I've had my coffee and my low sugar oat meal.
I am tracking.
Going to the gym at lunch.
So far so good.
I don't know where my motivational self has gone?
She isn't lost I am just in the process of trying to find her again.
I do want this so badly.
It's easy as pie for me to kick somebody else's ass into gear but hard as hell to help myself.
Do I want to be skinny?
I just want to be strong.
Most importantly happy.