Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Nuts, spaghetti and meat balls, with a side of Birthday Cake flavored ice cream...

Ever get really sad and you have no unearthly idea why?
Times when you feel like there is a constant rain cloud over your head but nothing has even happened.
I was fine all day yesterday.
Besides the stomach issues, etc. I did not have a bad day...
Even for a Monday!
 
I got to spend some one on one time with one happy baby girl and all was well.
I put her to bed and the sadness set in.
I just felt so low.
I wanted to go grab her and pull her out of her bed and just hold onto her.
I didn't.
But maybe I should have done that instead of what I actually did.
I ended up eating late because I was taking care of her.
I put myself on the back burner like most of us Moms usually do.
 
Husband was at darts so it was just me and a fully stocked kitchen.
YIKES!
 
I ended up finishing off some hot peanuts, a left over container of spaghetti and meat balls (about 1 1/2 cups), and a bowl of Birthday Cake Ice Cream.
I had zero will power last night and totally gave into my emotions.
 
The outcome being that I STILL feel like shit today.
I instantly felt awful after I put that last spoon full of ice cream into my mouth and swallowed.
 
Why???
Why have I come so far and still struggle with my emotional eating.
The saddest part is I don't know what I am sad about.
 
I have a loving Husband, three beautiful children, amazing family and friends, a gorgeous roof over my head, a job, etc.
I still can't really put my finger on it.
 
Sometimes I just expect too much out of myself.
I expect to be perfect 24/7.
I want to wake up tomorrow and be able to run 13.1 miles with no problem and have a bangin' body.
Sometimes I feel like I am putting in all this work for what?
I know I have come a long way but I still feel like I have such a long way to go.
And even when I get there...
It still won't be over.
It will never be over.
 
I will have to fight for this healthy body every.single.day. for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I just get tired of that.
Normally old me would have let last nights bad choices determine today's choices and I would end up having a weeks worth of bad choices...
Not this time.
Regardless of how crappy I feel I am putting one healthy foot in front of the other today.
 
Today's Agenda:
Eat healthy and clean as possible.
Drink as much water as possible.
Run for my life...
Be happy and put a smile on my face, and mean it.
October 12th, 2012
Aug 10th, 2013
 
 
 
 
October 19th, 2012
Today
 





9 comments:

  1. Awww....I have days like that all the time. I think some of us are just wired that way. Don't be too hard on yourself! You look amazing and are doing great things daily for you!!!

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  2. Yes missy we all have days like that. You still inspire us every damn day so don't beat yourself up. No one is perfect!

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  3. ONE..you look amazing..two..your child makes me want a child...three..your guest post got the most hits while I was away! BOOM.

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  4. Seriously, I have these days ALL the time. I was just trying to explain that feeling to my friend the other day and she thought I was crazy. I sometimes get it first thing in the morning when my hubs is leaving for work and I'm getting the kids ready. I just want to call him and tell him to turn around and climb into bed with the kids. It usually makes me stop at Dunkin Donuts for a large iced coffee and TWO maple frosted donuts...

    You are inspiring me to get my fat girl hustle on at the gym, and I'm hoping my eating will come next. We got that girl....just remember how good that run felt!

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  5. I have them days all to often. Then I hate myself after.
    You look amazing and you truly inspire me. After reading your blog, I know I can get where I need to be!

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  6. I was just thinking last night, Oh well 209 isn't really that big. I could stay this way and probably be happy!! UMmmm no I won't I haven't been happy in 15 years. I have it all, (like you) but I am so unhappy with me that I can not except it. Still working and fighting everyday. I follow you on IG and here. You are doing great. I wish I could find the drive to workout....
    Amber

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  7. Sorry Marcy!

    I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes you just get sad for no reason. But, guess what all that crap isn't going to make you feel better. (How is that for tough love)

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  8. Oh gosh, some days are like that. Its like you can't even put a finger on what it is exactly. ((HUGS)) and you will get through this! You have come so far and you look fantastic!

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  9. sounds like you gots a case of the mean reds..suddenly you're afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of..one of my most fav quotes from breakfast at tiffany's. because seriously, i think everyone has the means reds every now and then. and that's okay! you bounced back, didn't you? i have days where i feel the same way. it sucks, but i always bounce back. :)

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