Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Warning: Just a bunch of mumbo jumbo I had to get off my chest...


Woah this post is coming late!
I have been up to my eye balls in work {if you are reading this THANKS MICHELLE I LOVE YOU, TOO}
 
 
Anyways...
I just have to get something off of my chest.
 
It's funny where this blog has came from.
When I first started spewing my word vomit over at Marcy's Mazin' Moments, which doesn't even exist anymore so don't go lookin', I had no idea what I was doing.
I had no idea of the direction this blog would turn, how much my life would have changed, and how many amazing people I would have met, etc.
This blog is where I mostly share everything and then some about my weight loss journey.
Honestly I never expected it to go there but atlas it has and I am not mad about it.
 
One thing I have ALWAYS told you guys is that I do NOT sugar coat anything.
I tell it like it is.
Some say that isn't always a good thing but I am who I am and I cannot change that.
 
Disclaimer:  Before I go any further I just want to say that I do not give two shits about blasting this certain individual on my blog.
Everything I say is the truth and it is things that I would say directly to their face.
 
 
A little back story to the past month or so {I can't go much further than that I would be here for days} Lauren's Mother has pretty much been non-existent in Lauren's life.
It's to the point where she does not even want to go.
 
Last night specifically Lauren had told her father she did not want to go home.
Her Mother has been dragging her here, there, and everywhere.
Lauren never knows where she will be for that particular night.
Her Mom called Kev at 5:38 saying she was stuck in traffic and on her way.
Kev left at 6:15 for darts.
At 7:00 Lauren was getting antsy so she called her Mother.
I shit you not her Mother had not even been on her way.
She was at her Mom's house working on her computer.
I am sure glad I had nothing to do.
I am glad I have no life so that I can wait around on her.
 
No.
Just no.
 
This is not how this is going to work.
 
Lauren needs stability.
 
Why am I telling you all this?
Well because three years ago this would have upset me so bad I would have went into a feeding frenzy.
I would have shoved thousands of calories down my pie hole with no care in sight.
I love that girl more than life itself and it bothers me to no end that somebody, her own Mother, would do this to her.
Last night...
Last night I was able to love on her and laugh with her.
I was also able to keep myself in check.
I did not eat poorly.
I actually made healthy decisions and went to bed feeling a lot better than I have in a while.
I am also telling you this to let you know that I am not perfect, my family isn't perfect, it's just my perfect.
I do NOT have rainbows and sparkly things flying out of my ass 24/7.
This is real life y'all and I am just finding my healthiest way to deal with it.
 
My anger won't change unfortunately.
When my girls hurt, I hurt.
I cannot stand to see the anger that Lauren has towards her Mother.
I try my best to constantly remind Lauren that Renee is still her Mother and she should still respect her.
I can only stomach so much though...
I am human after all.
 
Pray for me, pray for my Husband, hell even pray for Renee...
 
But most importantly pray for my Lauren girl.
That Kev and myself can continue to show her the lost that she needs and that it will fufill her enough...
 








11 comments:

  1. awe....poor little one and poor you! It's one thing to have to be an adult and deal with this but anytime a child is involved it sucks. It sucks for her because she will have to learn that she can't count on people at such a young age. I'm proud of you for not talking bad about her mom to her, because that is amazing and super hard to do. I hope things get better but I know that people are people and are selfish and most of the time it doesn't get better. Big hugs to you my friend.

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  2. Marcy,
    You are just one awesome person you inspire me in so many ways. One of my main problems is shoving calories in my mouth to make the stress of my life feel better. Lauren is so lucky to have you not many step parents feel this much love for their step kids I send many prayers up for the whole family. Hope your day gets better!!

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  3. Ugh, poor baby. I hope today is better for you, Kev and Lauren. Stability is what she needs and it looks like you both are doing your damnedest to keep things as normal as you can for her. That is so much the right thing to do. (((HUGS))) to you all.

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  4. I can't even. She is a lucky little girl to have you in her life. Period. End of story.

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  5. You are the best. Keep on loving that little girl.

    xoxo
    Rachel@rachelrunshermouth.com

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  6. I can relate to you on this one, Marcy. Arron has other children from his previous marriage (all are older -- that's why they aren't on my blog), but their mother isn't worth anything. It's sad and does the children no good. Just keep being there. I know you are and that's all you can do. Well.... at least you didn't eat junk! :) Looking good, girl!

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  7. I love you even more than I did before....

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  8. You're such a good person Marcy! What a lucky little girl she is, to have you loving her!

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  9. She is so lucky she has you... love ya lady!

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  10. Wait you DON'T have rainbows and sparkly things flying out of your ass all the time?!? Damn I have been fooled!
    I hope you know that, that what you are doing for that little girl will never be forgotten by her. Coming from a broken home and many separate households I can still to this day remember the actually moments of stability and loving people from my childhood!

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