Cleanse day five: Poppn'

It's Friday.

Need I say more?

Didn't think so!

So...

It's the fifth day of the cleanse and I am feeling pretty faaaking groovy if I do say so myself.

Just A SHIT TON of energy today.

I popped out of my bed.

I NEVER pop out of my bed.

I honestly didn't think the cleanse was doing much until today.

I put on a pair of pants that were sucking the life out of me very form fitting  last Monday.

'

There loosey goosey today y'all.

My Mom also made the comment {and I know she is my Mom so shut your face} that I am looking tiny.

What?

Me?

Tiny????

She said especially in my legs!

It's like a heat wave here today because it's above negative temps outside so I wasn't wearing my coat and she could actually see my entire body.

She guessed me at 145-150 and you know what I will take it!

I am really excited to see the final results of this cleanse!

In other news I totally and on a whim signed up for Weight Watchers online this morning.

I have seen it work for so many others.

I want to get to my healthy BMI range.

I just do.

I want to be able to say that I am finally at a healthy weight for my height and all that jazz.

It's possible I know it is.

So do any of you currently use Weight Watchers?

Pros and cons?

I mean seriously?

SHE LOOKS AMAZING!

There is obvious proof that it works =)

I HOPE EVERYBODY HAS AN AMAZING WEEKEND AND BEHAVES ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY WITH ALL THE SNACKS LAYING AROUND =)

Writer's block.

writer's block

phrase of writer

1. 1.

   the condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing.

There I said it.

I have NOTHING to write today.

Which means basically I haven nothing to say and if you tell my Husband he would never believe you.

I also was looking for my glasses and phone this morning while my glasses were on my face and I was talking on my phone.

So yea that explains it.

I am in a funkity funk right now.

The weather has just really got me down.

I want to be in bed by 9 and I am dragging my ass out of bed in the mornings.

I don't do winter.

I literally rolled myself onto the floor this morning just to get out of the bed.

Anyways...

I just figured I would open up this post for a good Q&A session.

That's right.

Nothing is off limits.

Okay okay maybe some things I don't know.

Try and stump me!

I am up for the challenge ;)

In other news before I head out I just wanted to say that I am really trying to learn to love my curves.

To just love all of my body, even the imperfections.

It's not easy, but I know that it can be done!

{Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you}

Even if I do have a badonkidonk =)

Stupid cold.

First off let me just say that I don't know how long this post will be simply for the fact that my fingers hurt.

Literally.

It is so stupid cold outside that I don't think I have thawed out in three plus days.

It's the ONLY part of my body that stays cold and it hurts to type.

That being said I am feeling pretty good.

Besides Aunt Flo being an absolute bitch to me right now.

I mean it would figure with the way my luck is that on the second day of my Cleanse I end up getting a visit from her...

What a twatwaffle.

I am so bloated and I am unsure if it's from the cleanse, from AF, or both combined.

I hate this feeling.

Not to mention the leg cramps...

OH THE LEG CRAMPS.

And I have also been a raging lunatic.

Men...

Do they have it easy or what?!

Don't answer that.

I didn't weigh in this morning.

I didn't plan it this way but the last day of my cleanse is next Wednesday.

I will have the full results up on Thursday with pictures and all that jazz but I am hoping to be able to report a lighter weight next week.

I still haven't weighed in since Monday when I initially weighed in at the start of the cleanse.

Praying to little 3 lb 5 oz premature bebe Jesus he gets me into the 150's.

I need that boost.

I need to see that number.

Just pray for me that I make it through Superbowl Sunday on this cleanse.

I know I can do it but it will be challenging.

We are having tons of people over the house for the game.

I will probably have a few low calorie drinks but nothing crazy.

Today is Week 4 Day 2 of my c25k training.

Honestly I need to throw some weight/cross training in there but I haven't felt like it.

I just wanna run.

I LOVE TO RUN.

Sometimes I find that statement above hard to believe.

I would have never believed I would ever actually love doing it.

When I started getting serious about it this time last year I couldn't even run .2 of a mile at a 4.2 pace without feeling like I was going to die.

Not that I am fast now, like at all, but I can run for much longer periods of time at least at a 5.0/5.1 speed.

HAPPY HUMP DAY Y'ALL!

HOPE EVERYBODY IS DOING WELL ON THEIR JOURNEY'S =)

Letting go.

This picture could not be more true.

I literally talk about this all the time...

But why can't I ever let the number go?

Why do, on more days than I like to admit, let it get the best of me?

Ruin a perfectly good awesome amazingly glorious day!

I eat right.

I work out hard, some days {like yesterday}, when I didn't even want to at the start of it.

I have come so far.

Why does the number even matter at this point?

I mean seriously going from this...

{How I made it down that slide I have not a clue on this earth}

To this...

Now come on weight shouldn't even matter.

I truly am proud of what I have been able to do in roughly 18 months.

105 pounds is A LOT of weight to lose.

I know muscle weighs more than fat blah blah blah.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy am I so fixated on these numbers even after all of my hard work?!

Little 3 lb 5 oz premature bebe Jesus just get me to the 150's already!

I really need to take this to heart.

I am a good person.

I do know how much I am loved.

I do have a great smile.

And I have the power to choose happiness over sadness.

It's hard.

I expect so much out of myself.

I want to be superwoman and lets be honest superwoman is NOT real.

I am human.

I am FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR from perfect.

I want to be able to wake up in the mornings and pop out of bed.

I want to enjoy a cup of coffee before getting ready instead of running around like a chicken with her head cut off.

I want to be on time, and early, for everything.

I want to work out every.single.day.

I want my house to be spotless.

I want my kids to look like they stepped out of a Pinterest picture.

I want my Husband to be Happy! Happy! Happy! all the time.

But guess what?

That's not real life.

It's just not.

Things are hard and nothing is easy.

Like so many before me have said...

If it were easy we would all be thin!

I mean when I woke up this morning I felt lighter.

But I refused to weigh in.

For the next 9 days (the rest of this cleanse) I will NOT let the number on the scale define me.

I may weigh in, I may not.

Just depends on how I am feeling.

Going to try to just rely on how I feel, which today is great!

When you have been a certain way your entire life it's definitely hard to change.

It's all a learning process.

Lots of trial and error.

Progress.

I love this statement above.

It defines me to a T.

The old Marcy would have given up months ago and I would be sitting here behind my computer...

Eating a doughnut, or ten...

Crying reading the success stories of others feeling sorry for myself...

And probably weighing in somewhere around 215 pounds if I had to guess.

When the times got tough I just gave up.

It was easier to eat than workout.

Duh.

And then it was much more satisfying and comforting to eat then it would have ever been to actually get up and move.

It's been almost a year since I decided to take the chance on joining the gym.

{Left is when I first started last year Right was last week}

I will be perfectly honest with you I never expected the habit to last.

I would constantly put myself down at the beginning and I would subconsciously tell myself I couldn't do it.

I would never be able to keep this up.

Well here almost a year later, and even when shit got tough (I have been through a lot this past year), I NEVER once gave up.

I might have slacked off here and there but if you have noticed I somehow have always managed to pick myself up and dust myself back off.

That is going to be a huge part of your success.

The scale might not always budge, you may have an off day, you get sick, etc.

Life happens.

Trust me I know I work full time and I have three girls, plus a Husband, plus a fur pup.

I get it.

I have been stuck at 160ish for like six months now.

I am over it.

It's my wall that I have been wanting to bust up for quite some time.

I officially started the Advocare 10 day cleanse this morning.

I really feel like this is going to get me past this wall.

But guess what?

If for some strange reason it doesn't...

Sure I will be sad, but I won't give up.

It will be back to the drawing board to figure out what else I can do to get where I want to be.

Also since I am doing the cleanse I am switching up my eating schedule.

I had my drink and a packet of Low Sugar Oatmeal this morning for breakfast at 8:00am.

I will have a Snack this morning around 10:00am which will probably be a banana.

I will be eating lunch around noon which will be a sweet potato and a small service of brown rice at noon.

I will go workout at 1:00PM and then upon my return I will be making a protein shake.

I will have an afternoon snack around 4:00 if I feel hungry.

Then dinner when I get home at 6:00.

Depending on how I feel I may have a healthy snack before bed but that just depends.

Does anybody else workout at lunch?

Have you ever had any problems with eating before lunch like that?

I know people do it but this will be my first day trying this new eating schedule.

I guess worse case scenario I throw up in front of a bunch of jocks and call it a day right ;)

Hope everybody has a fabulous Monday I am sitting over here wayyyyyy too happy and perky for it being a Monday, and a Monday that is starting my cleanse!!!

PS I still can't believe this used to be me...

I want all the alcohol.

So I am just holding on to this last pound in the 160's like it's my job.

When I saw that Mrs. Elle Noel was starting the Advocare 10 day Cleanse I decided what the hell...

I have done it three times before and always kind of half assed it but I know the results are going to get me to where I want to be.

And maybe finally I will shut up about the 150's.

No, okay that's a lie, I probably won't.

So this weekend it's on like donkey kong.

And not probably in the way you are thinking.

I won't be eating myself out of house and home.

BUT...

Kidding.

Maybe...

On a more serious note Payton had her checkup following the UTI incident this past week this morning.

We now have to go to Children's for some further testing to make sure everything is working properly.

They use a grading system one being the best and a four to a five being the worst.

We are praying for a one or two because if it's anything more than that surgery will most likely be a must.

Just pray for my baby.

I do believe this is much worse on the parents than the child.

Sorry this is once again short and sweet but I am up to my eye balls in work per usual from having to take off so much this week.

The quicker this day goes the better!

And to offset all this drinking I plan to do I will be working out still...

and by working out I mean cleaning like a crazy person...

5 years.

It's amazing to me to have found a forever love.

A love that I know regardless will always be there.

I have no worries.

I have no doubts.

I know that my Husband truly and unconditionally loves me.

No, really, he does!

He has loved me at 265 pounds and he has loved me at my current weight {still rockin' 160}.

He has loved me at my sickest and he has loved me at my best.

He has stood by my side through everything we have faced in these past five years.

Cheers to many more years together babe...

It's not something I talk about much here on the blog but today is a special day.

Five years ago today Kevin and I made our relationship "official."

You know like boyfriend and girlfriend and changing our relationship status on Facebook and all that jazz.

Big things people.

A little over five years ago was a really hard time in my life.

Loss of friendships, a failed marriage, all while working full time and trying to take care of my daughter.

So as corny as it sounds I went to Myspace bored and lonely searching around for people like me, not even specifically men.  Just a friend.  Preferably a single parent who was going through the same things I was.

Kevin was the first profile to pop up.  I remember what caught my eye was his bright orange shirt he was wearing in his profile picture.

So I clicked on his picture, searched around his page, and found out we had some mutual friends.

So I got up the courage and sent him a message honestly expecting him to think I was nuts, never message me back, and that would be the end of it.

Little did I know that five years later that message would be the best decision I have ever made for my life.

In that time we have faced many highes and just as many lows but through it all we have survived and come over the other side better than we were.

When I tell you I love you I don't say it out of habit or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that YOU are the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.