Letting go.

This picture could not be more true.

I literally talk about this all the time...

But why can't I ever let the number go?

Why do, on more days than I like to admit, let it get the best of me?

Ruin a perfectly good awesome amazingly glorious day!

I eat right.

I work out hard, some days {like yesterday}, when I didn't even want to at the start of it.

I have come so far.

Why does the number even matter at this point?

I mean seriously going from this...

{How I made it down that slide I have not a clue on this earth}

To this...

Now come on weight shouldn't even matter.

I truly am proud of what I have been able to do in roughly 18 months.

105 pounds is A LOT of weight to lose.

I know muscle weighs more than fat blah blah blah.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy am I so fixated on these numbers even after all of my hard work?!

Little 3 lb 5 oz premature bebe Jesus just get me to the 150's already!

I really need to take this to heart.

I am a good person.

I do know how much I am loved.

I do have a great smile.

And I have the power to choose happiness over sadness.

It's hard.

I expect so much out of myself.

I want to be superwoman and lets be honest superwoman is NOT real.

I am human.

I am FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR from perfect.

I want to be able to wake up in the mornings and pop out of bed.

I want to enjoy a cup of coffee before getting ready instead of running around like a chicken with her head cut off.

I want to be on time, and early, for everything.

I want to work out every.single.day.

I want my house to be spotless.

I want my kids to look like they stepped out of a Pinterest picture.

I want my Husband to be Happy! Happy! Happy! all the time.

But guess what?

That's not real life.

It's just not.

Things are hard and nothing is easy.

Like so many before me have said...

If it were easy we would all be thin!

I mean when I woke up this morning I felt lighter.

But I refused to weigh in.

For the next 9 days (the rest of this cleanse) I will NOT let the number on the scale define me.

I may weigh in, I may not.

Just depends on how I am feeling.

Going to try to just rely on how I feel, which today is great!

When you have been a certain way your entire life it's definitely hard to change.

It's all a learning process.

Lots of trial and error.