Mondays should be optional.

In no specific order I think it's safe to say a couple of things...

1.  I had a wonderful weekend.

2.  I look better without hair at this point.

3.  I really need to focus on eating better and getting more time at the gym...

WOOF!

Hope y'all have a fabulous Monday :)

Thyroid Shmyroid.

It was several weeks after I had Shelby back in circa 2006.

I remember being severely overweight and unhappy with myself.
I specifically remember a beautiful fall day.

I pulled up to a stop light and the next thing I know I had tapped the car in front of me.

I fell asleep at the wheel.

I literally just couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Talk about scary!

Finally after several doctors appointments later, and even a biopsy to check a lump on my throat, it was determined that I had hypothyroidism.

At a young 21 years old I didn’t really know what that was, or what exactly it entailed, but all I knew was I was extremely tired and had to take a pill every day for the rest of my life.

Your thyroid affects SO much.

Weight loss, fatigue, low sex drive, irritable…  that is just to name a few things that I deal with on a daily basis.

Remind you I was 152 a year ago today.

I now stand at 193.4… 

Yes, that is a HUGE difference.

I also received my blood work back from my doctor this morning.

Your normal levels can range anywhere from 0.270 - 4.200 mcIU/mL and mine was a 6.600 as of yesterday.

Something is obviously not right. 

I go back to my family doctor on the 23rd and I have an appointment with a thyroid specialist (endocrinologist) in April.

I just pray that hopefully soon I can get some answers and some help dealing with this.

It has definitely affected my weight which I so badly want to change.

If you have thyroid issues you are NOT alone.

 

All in all though I am a fighter and I refuse to give up.

I am still trying to eat as healthy as possible and go to the gym as much as I can.

The hardest part is keeping food out of my mouth right now.

 

Everyday I'm Shovellin'

If you are looking for me I will most likely be under a blanket in my bed...

#dead

Husband calls and says, "Can you shovel a small spot at the end of the driveway for me?"  Sure, I grumbled, as I huffed and puffed to my room to change my clothes.  I literally was cursing the entire trek down to the beginning of the driveway.  I started and thought, "Hey, this isn't so bad!"  I guess I will be nice and shovel a little more than he told me to.  His back has been hurting him after all...  90 minutes later and the 13 inches of snow (three foot drifts and all) and the driveway was shovelled.  Who needs a gym today when you have a driveway like mine?!  I am already sore, can't wait for tomorrow!  Now if I can just refrain from eating all the foods today that would be great!

Moral of the story:  I am a bad ass.  I must REALLY love my Husband.  The end.

Discipline.

I may get up in the mornings and think of every excuse in the book to not go to the gym.

This morning it would have been that the last hour I could have been sleeping I was being poked and prodded by a certain two year old.

I won’t mention any names but she is pretty damn cute, just not at 5 in the morning.

Anywho…

Even with all of that being said, there is one thing I know, I have NEVER left the gym regretting it.

I have never thought to myself, “Man, I wish I would have just slept in!”

Most of the times I am kicking myself in the butt for not having got up earlier…

I hope y’all had an AMAZING weekend, I know I did, and have an even better Monday J

Excuses.

I didn’t get enough sleep.

This bed is too warm.

I am too comfortable.

I will go tomorrow.

I will just eat really good today.

I will start again on the right foot next week.

No, I am not going, I am just simply too tired and I need that extra 20 minutes that I probably won’t even use to sleep…

All the excuses.

Not a damn one of them are anything good enough to keep me from getting my lazy butt up and getting to the gym.

I thought there for just a minute that they had my brain warped.

I must say I am glad that I got up.

I am glad that I made the decision to go because I know how much better I feel sitting here right now.

I feel happier.

I feel lighter.

I feel like I have way more energy.

I am not sad or upset with myself.

I am not depressed.

All those negative things I most likely would have experienced if I had not gotten up and went.

Look, I totally get it…

I have three girls, a husband, a house, and a full-time job.

I have friends whom I love dearly and a family that matters more to me than life itself.

I have responsibilities and obligations.

I have realized though that I cannot excel at any of those things if I don’t take care of myself, too.

One day at a time...  Baby steps…  But we are all capable of things we never realized.

What works for me may not work for you but there is a way to make it work and you just have to figure out your own personal journey.

Realization.

I realized two things this morning while strutting my stuff killing myself on the treadmill…

After almost a year out from going to the gym on a regular basis, ya know when it was there waiting for me on the 22^nd floor of my building every day for lunch, I NEED THE GYM.

I am not one of these people that can work out at home.  I just can’t.  I need somewhere to go that isn’t in my home.  A place for me.  Just me.  A place where I am not Mom or Wife or Friend.  A place to let it all go.  I also need routine.  I need structure.  Some people don’t, but I do, and I know that’s okay. 

So today was my first day back in the gym.  The first day of my new routine.  I am hopeful, I am happy, and I am determined. 

This is something I realize won’t ever be handed to me.  My health will never be something I can just do whatever I want and it’s waiting for me all pretty on a shiny silver platter.

I have to work for it.  No, I have to fight for it.  I have to fight hard for it.  There will be sacrifices.  There will be frustrations.  There will probably even be tears.  But in all of that there is beauty to be found.  There is strength to behold.  I can and I will.  I have done it before and I damn well know I can do it again.  Hang with me while I get out of the rut I have been in and back to the person you all know that I can be…

I weighed in this morning at 197.2
Ya please pick that mouth up off the ground right now.
Definitely expecting a lower number next week!
So ready to do the damn thing and get back in my groove :)

Bald and beautiful...

So you know it’s never a good thing when you tell somebody your weight and their jaw drops to the floor.

So yes, that happened this morning.

To me.

My first thought was are you looking at me that way because I don’t look that big?

Do I look that big?

What was in that ice cream?

Today started The Biggest Loser at work.

I have went ridiculously overboard these past several months and I will be the first to admit it.

I will also be the first to tell you that enough is enough.

I am tired of feeling like a stuffed sausage in 98.9 percent of my clothing.

My plan of attack:

~I am making damn sure I am drinking half my weight in ounces of water every day.

~Staying within my calorie limit.

~Allowing myself one cheat meal per week.

~Going to the gym at least 4 out of the 7 days per week.

~Staying as badass and awesome as humanly possible.

 

So much has happened since I took yet another hiatus.  I gained more weight but that’s neither here nor there. 

I want to talk to you guys about something…  something serious.

I know, I know, it doesn’t happen often.

I just want to talk to all you ladies about trusting your gut.

About knowing your body so well that when something isn’t right you don’t push it to the back of your mind.

You take care of it.  You find out.  You get answers.

My sister-n-law had a full hysterectomy over Christmas break.  One that was only supposed to be a partial.

She fought to have a full, where they take everything out, especially your ovaries.

My Husband’s Mother, her Mother, died 6 ½ years ago of Ovarian Cancer.

Michelle was having problems, she was 40, and hadn’t planned on having any more children.

The doctors tried talking her out of getting a full.  They tried and they failed.

A few days after her surgery Michelle received a call that none of us want to get.

She had cancer…  In her ovaries.  The ovaries that the doctor had fought with Michelle over to keep.

Now fast forward to today.  She is starting her second round of 18 weeks of hard core chemo.

She is brave.  She is a fighter.  She will beat this.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen to your body.  Listen to your heart and your gut and if something isn’t right act on it.

Michelle’s hair began falling out last week…  so we both went and got our heads shaved this weekend  J

People keep asking me how I did it?

How was it so easy for me?

Well when you love somebody enough and you see that they are scared and hurting you may understand why and how.

It's just hair.

It does NOT define our beauty.

Not to mention it saves me about 30 extra minutes in the morning so I can sleep in a little longer.

Only downfall is I can't seem to stay warm!!!

#baldandbeautiful