105 and will it ever be over???

My high school bestie Sarah and I were chatting on Facebook yesterday about weight loss.

Sister is killin' it yo!

Seriously amazing.

Anyways we were discussing if there will ever be an end to the weight loss?

Will we ever be satisfied?

Will it ever be over?

I thought about this conversation all night.

I mean I have always said if I get to X weight I will be happy yatta yatta ya.

My answer is NO.

For me it will never be over.

I know my body.

I know me.

I will always have to work hard to maintain and keep my body healthy.

That isn't to say I won't still have my cake and eat it to.

I could never deny myself of beer, mommy juice aka wine, or those god forsaken curly fries my Husband deep fries.

I think I will eventually get to the point where I can spend my life focusing on other things but food.

Right now is not that time.

I still struggle.

There are still times I look down and have eaten two full bowls of Party Cake Ice Cream.

There are still times I am already day dreaming about what I am going to put in my mouth next.

There are days I don't want to work out and I don't.

There are days that I am negative.

There are plenty of days I still say I can't.

The difference now is that I just pick myself back up and move forward.

Old me never did that.

I just let myself continue to spiral out of control.

I think for me it will always be about striving to be a better version of myself.

Right now I am still trying to work on dropping the pounds but also toning.

I obviously know cardio drops the weight like flies in a bug zapper on a hot summer night.

So cardio is what I am focusing a lot on right now.

I am still adding weight training in but I think once I get to my goal weight of 141 (that is the top number of my BMI) I will then focus solely on weight training.

We will see...

I am desperate to get rid of my bat wings, my thigh claps, and my kangaroo pouch.

DESPERATE.

I know I have come far.

I am dam proud of that.

If your new around here I went from 265 on July 25th, which was the day I delivered my last child, to where I am at today...

I know I had said that I was going to break up with the scale but I checked in on my progress this morning.

I was 160.1

And not that anybody is counting but that is a total of 105 pounds lost!

Can I get an amen?!

So close to my 15? that I want to be at for my doctors appointment on the 21st!

I just have to really keep myself in check.

I know I can do it and that's really important.

Without believing in yourself it will never happen.

But this is not the end.

Like I said before...

I don't think there ever will be an end.

It will never be over for me.