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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Broken heart.

Weigh In Wedneday
 
Today I come to you with a broke heart and the smallest weight I have seen since my wedding day.
I got on the scale this morning and I weighed in at 162.
 
I know that I have worked hard but I would be lying if I didn't say that stress and poor health might be attributing to my weight loss right now.
 
I don't condone that what so ever and I am trying to stay strong and do what I can to fix it.
 
I kind of knew deep down what the results would be but I was trying to be optimistic.
My Husband used to tell me before I lost a majority of my weight that I was always so negative.
Not only was my weight physically holding me down it was emotionally holding me down as well.
Since I have lost the weight my attitude has been a lot better.
I was being way more positive.
Then I got the news that I did not want to hear last night.
 
Marcy, I am sorry, the chemo did nothing.
Your Pawpaw's cancer won the fight and it's worse than it was before.
The spots are more plentiful and larger.
He was the 1/3 statistic of people who get worse and not better.
Hospice will be in today to make him comfortable.
What?
Surely this isn't real...
The man who has always been my biggest fan, the strongest man I have known, and a constant in my life is becoming less and less with ever waking second.
 
Two words.
Fuck cancer.
{totally getting this tattoo.  Not the exact same one but something close}
 
Sorry for the Debbie Downer weigh in post.
 
Just pray that I can keep myself together.
Pray that I can continue to stay healthy during this whole process.
Pray that I can stay strong for my family, especially my children.
Mostly pray for Pawpaw.
That he find peace and comfort in all of this...

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18 comments:

  1. Kindra GuySeptember 25, 2013 at 7:39 AM

    No amount of words will ever take away the sting of this news... so I'll just say that I'll be praying for you pretty girl. Keep your head up.

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  2. ShesabigstarSeptember 25, 2013 at 7:47 AM

    Oh Marcy I am so sorry... praying for peace and comfort for your whole family! xo

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  3. Desiree - Finding the Skinny Geek WithinSeptember 25, 2013 at 7:47 AM

    Oh sweetie, I'm so very very sorry about the news of your sweet Pawpaw. You guys will be in my thoughts. ((((HUGS))))

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  4. Amy @ Getz Girl on FireSeptember 25, 2013 at 8:01 AM

    So, so sorry to hear this . . . virtual hugs.

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  5. MeredithSeptember 25, 2013 at 8:12 AM

    I am so sorry Marcy. Keeping a positive attitude all the time is not easy and really, not possible. You are allowed to hurt. You are allowed to cry and feel this pain. Only then once you have can you return to being a light and being positive. I will be praying for your family.

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  6. Lori @ fattofit41September 25, 2013 at 8:16 AM

    Praying for all of you....love you, my friend. xoxo

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  7. SarahSeptember 25, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    Thinking about you and your family today darlin.

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  8. NickiSeptember 25, 2013 at 8:25 AM

    I'm so sad for you girl. I will say to enjoy the time you have, cherish every moment, and remember you have many people in your life face to face and through the internet that love you and that will be praying for you and your family. Hugs to you girl. Thoughts and prayers are sent your way.

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  9. BeckySeptember 25, 2013 at 8:26 AM

    No words. Just lots of love coming your way.

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  10. LoveandcrayonsSeptember 25, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    Sending you hugs Marcy!! Lots of love to your family!

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  11. Brandy DSeptember 25, 2013 at 8:31 AM

    So sorry. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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  12. AshleySeptember 25, 2013 at 9:42 AM

    Praying for your Pawpaw. Cancer is a hard thing to go through, for the patient and the family. Know that there are people that are here for you.

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  13. Trina O'NeilSeptember 25, 2013 at 9:46 AM

    Marcy, I am so sorry for the news that you received. I myself had to deal with Cancer with my mom and there was no treatment. I want to send you hugs and prayers and even though it isn't fair continue to keep an open dialogue with God. For only God knows his plans for us and will always be there to hold you up in your time of need. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

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  14. Amanda ZSeptember 25, 2013 at 9:55 AM

    So sorry to hear about your PawPaw. Cherish this time you have left with him and make the most of it.

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  15. BrandySeptember 25, 2013 at 10:27 AM

    I cried reading your IG post last night. I'm so sorry to hear this. Cancer has taken and affected too many people in my life. Fuck Cancer is 100% right.
    Praying for comfort for your pawpaw & strength for you and the rest of your family.
    xoxo

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  16. Jamie DanielleSeptember 25, 2013 at 7:57 PM

    I love you Marcy. I don't know you personally but you shine through your blog & it makes me feel like I do.
    I am praying for you & your family during this hard time. Cancer is such a horrible devil. Keep strong. Lots of prayers & hugs your way.

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  17. AngieSeptember 25, 2013 at 8:19 PM

    I'm so deeply sorry. Cancer is a horrible disease. My Grandfather passed 2 years ago of Cancer and losing someone you love so much is such a painful process. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

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  18. Nicole BurdessSeptember 26, 2013 at 7:03 AM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your PawPaw...cancer is an awful awful disease. I've lost too many people to it, and seen so many affected. My friend that lives in Arizona started a company called Fight United after his dad passed away from cancer. Check out their apparel: http://www.fight-united.com/
    If it's any solace I will certainly say a prayer for him!

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